Edelstein: No hugging, Chris Christie, weed and more
If you hosted Thanksgiving, I can pretty much guarantee today is the day you’ll be cleaning out the fridge, getting rid of the last of the leftovers.
So with that in mind, allow me to clear out my Google Docs and break out a columnist classic: The Notes Column! Starting with …
SPORTS BETTING: It’s been three months now online sports betting has been a thing in New Jersey, and as you might imagine, I’m betting. My new go-to joke is “I’m a divorce away from becoming a full-time gambler!” (Not everyone finds it funny, to be fair. Anyway …)
Anyway, I’ve been active on both the FanDuel and DraftKings sports betting apps, and if you’re thinking of joining one or the other, FanDuel, to me, is the clear winner. The interface is cleaner, for starters. But most importantly, they have an 800 number you can call when you’re having an issue. DraftKings does not.
This is important, because if you’re a noob like me when it comes to exotic bets, you’re probably going to make a mistake or three. I have. And when I contacted FanDuel and talked to a human on the phone, they rectified the issue and refunded my money.
DraftKings? No. Had to deal with email and chat and they most certainly did not rectify the issue. Customer always wrong, in my case.
And yeah, for the record, I’m profitable so far.
PHILADELPHIA: It’s an Edelstein family tradition, going to Philadelphia for a night or two on the Friday after Thanksgiving. We stay at the Sheraton Society Hill, the kids get to swim, my wife and I have a few cocktails. We walk around the city, do all the touristy things, eat some dim sum. It’s a thing for us.
Not saying it should be a thing for you, but I am saying this: Even this degenerate gambler gets a little misty-eyed at the thought of what a longtime tradition must look like to old folks who started the tradition. In short: I expect to do this forever, and I expect grandchildren to be part of it. No pressure, kiddos.
MARIJUANA: Is it finally, really, truly happening? Who knows, but Senate and Assembly committees are expected to meet Monday and push a handful of legalization bills forward. Will 2019 be the year when weed is legalized? It should be.
And I will try it once it’s legal. It’s my duty as a journalist. Or something.
ROMAINE: I can just see myself in 2060, talking to those grandchildren of mine … “And we called it Caesar salad and it was delicious.”
What the hell with romaine lettuce, man? Why is E. Coli attracted to it like me to Kim Kardashian? It makes no sense. I love romaine. I miss romaine. Romaine!
HUGS: I am not a hugger, not a kisser. I hate the faux hug and kiss. It’s brutal. Stay out of my space. Honestly, I don’t even like shaking hands. Does this make me a weirdo? I don’t think it does. It just makes me someone who doesn’t want physical contact with most acquaintances. It shouldn’t be automatic.
And you know who agrees with me? The Girl Scouts, as evidenced by this headline on their website: “Reminder: Your daughter doesn’t owe anyone a hug. Not even at the holidays.”
The article goes on to say that if your daughter (and I’ll add “son” here as well) isn’t into the whole hugging thing, you shouldn’t force them to do so. You can be giving them the “wrong idea about consent and physical affection.”
I’m on-board with this. This isn’t a snowflake thing; this is just good sense. And lastly …
PORTRAITS: Former Governor Chris Christie unveiled his official portrait last week. It cost $85,000, and yes, us taxpayers are on the hook for it. Apparently, ex-governors get $250,000 their first year out of office for things like this. Ridiculous. But I’m not even going to rail against that right now.
I want to talk about the portrait, which features Christie behind a podium looking all Christie-like. It’s fine. But it’s weak.
See, if I were him, I would’ve done the ultimate troll job and commissioned a painting of him sitting in that beach chair. Now that would’ve been something. Missed opportunities, gov. Missed opportunities.
Jeff Edelstein is a columnist for The Trentonian. He can be reached at jedelstein@ trentonian.com, facebook. com/jeffreyedelstein and @ jeffedelstein on Twitter.