Nosey’s Law is nice, does nothing, and is hypocritical
As I sit here, a bill to ban wild animals from traveling acts here in New Jersey is still awaiting the signature of Gov. Phil Murphy. Last year, the bill sailed through the New Jersey legislature, only to be pocket vetoed by then-Gov. Chris Christie.
Will Murphy do the same? After all, the legislative season is nearing a close. But if I were a betting man (I am), I’d bet it all on Murphy signing the bill.
Known as “Nosey’s Law” after Nosey the Elephant, an elephant who was very clearly tortured during his time as a performer. I mean, this was one hurtin’ elephant. Thankfully, Nosey has been rescued and is spending his remaining years at The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee.
And so the New Jersey legislature, at the vanguard of making sure no more elephants (and — this is contractually obligated, sorry — lions and tigers and bears, oh my) suffer, passed Nosey’s Law, the first of its kind in the nation. Very simply, the olde-tyme animal acts of yesteryear will be banned from New Jersey. No more circus acts featuring wild animals. The end.
I imagine Murphy will sign the bill, PETA will issue glowing press releases, and no more animals will suffer here in New Jersey. Not. One. More. Animal. Except for the 250 million chickens slaughtered each year for us animal-loving New Jerseyans to eat. (And no, that’s not a typo. Over 9 billion(!) chickens are slaughtered for U.S. consumption each year, about 27 or so per man, woman, and child, according to the USDA. We have about 9 million residents, so, math. Anyway …)
Anyway, and the 900,000 cows killed for meat.
Don’t forget about the 3.5 million pigs. Bacon don’t grow on trees, you know.
Oh, and the 60,000 sheep and lamb.
Plus all the ducks, turkeys, and whatnot (hold the whatnot) that are born, raised in oftentimes brutal conditions, and then killed so we can nom nom nom to our heart’s content, although that same heart is probably telling us, “hey you bastard, did you ever hear of lettuce? Or freaking tofu? I’m getting clogged up over here, clogged I tell you!”
And remember: Those numbers up there are just New Jersey numbers. When you look at the national numbers, it’s truly mindboggling. I mean, 9 billion chickens! Stack them on top of each other, you’re looking at an American Tower of Chicken some 2.5 million miles high. That’s the Earth to the Moon, 10 times over. Lay those dead birds end to end, the resulting chain would go from New Jersey to California and back — over 4,000 times.
But while we continue to kill chickens like we’re swatting flies (the flies! The poor flies!) we’re more concerned about the few dozen animals that might wander through the Garden State wearing a silly hat and being chained up now and again so they don’t terrorize the children.
My point here: Would you rather be treated poorly but be alive like Nosey, or treated poorly and killed for food?
I mean, if the New Jersey legislature really cared about animals, shouldn’t they be — you know — banning the killing of them for food?
Sure, you can make the argument that these circus-type animals are smarter and thus somehow “more than” your garden variety idiot chicken, but really, you can’t. Listen: I don’t want to see animals abused any more than the next guy, but even just saying that is a pretty thin argument when I’m saying it in-between bites of my Chick-fil-A sandwich.
So congrats, New Jersey Legislature. You’ve managed to … well, managed to do nothing. These circus animals have 49 other states to be abused by. In the meantime, enjoy your holiday turducken.