Yaede and others could use a little misdirection
So once again this year, Hamilton Mayor Kelly Yaede will be marrying people on Valentine’s Day.
“One of the best parts of being mayor is being able to officiate the wedding ceremonies of so many happy couples,” Yaede said in a statement. “And Valentine’s Day presents itself as a very special holiday for these special ceremonies.”
Kuser Mansion is the setting where the nuptials will take place, and I’m sure it will be a delightful affair all around. After all, who doesn’t love a good wedding? Except …
Well, except things aren’t going terribly well in Hamilton right now. In fact, the township— at least politically speaking— is in disarray. Yaede acting as Cupid kind of reminds me of that meme with the coffee-drinking dog sitting in a fire-engulfed room, saying, “This is fine.”
But now that I think about it for a moment, maybe the kinda-embattled Yaede is onto something. Maybe turning heads away from the room-on-fire is just the move the make. Maybe dazzling residents with a little song-and-dance while Rome burns is a brilliant stroke of genius. Maybe a little misdirection is all Hamilton needs. Consider …
ITEM: Hamilton’s CFO John Barrett filed a police report against Marty Flynn, Yaede’s chief of staff, and Dave Kenny, the township’s business administrator, after the duo attempted to take possession of Barrett’s computer.
MISDIRECTION: Announce a free computer recycling day where Flynn and Kenny will drive around the township collecting old Commodore 64s.
ITEM: Hamilton town council meetings have devolved into expletive-fueled melees, causing at least one meeting to be halted midway through.
MISDIRECTION: Splice together the sauciest moments, set it to the “Benny Hill” music, title it “Hamilton Council Gone Wild,” and sell it to residents for $9.99 a pop.
ITEM: Yaede writes a stronglyworded letter to council, demanding they “regain the decorum worthy of the respect our residents deserve.” Council reacts by calling Yaede a “hypocrite,” noting the Barrett/Flynn/Kelly kerfuffle.
MISDIRECTION: Yaede and Council decide to hold roundtables for children whose parents are going through a nasty divorce.
ITEM: Democrats won three seats on the council in 2017. Republican Congressman Chris Smith lost in Hamilton for the first time in 2018 after carrying it in 19 consecutive elections. With a mayor’s race this year, it would appear Republican rule in Hamilton may be coming to an end.
MISDIRECTION: All Republican leaders dress up like Queen’s Guards and “jokingly” form a circle around the administration building. And when the Democrats win in November they go through a “changing of the guard” ceremony. (Admittedly, this misdirection needs works, though I do think Yaede would look smashing in one of those big black furry hat things.)
And lastly ...
ITEM: The Republican party in Hamilton is splintering with an alt-right, Trumpian-esqe contingent loudly challenging Yaede at every turn, setting the stage for a potential loud and ugly primary battle.
MISDIRECTION: I think this might be the Valentine’s Day wedding gambit. Not sure.