Lawmaker seeks to make telemarketers stand up, ID themselves
I don’t know if it’s something in the water — or a creeping “get off of my lawn” streak — but last week I wrote about how I really liked a bill from state Sen. Doug Steinhardt (about autism) and now, this week, I’m finding myself really liking a bill from state Sen. Jon Bramnick. Seriously: What the hell? All of a sudden I’m singing the praises of elected officials? I feel … dirty.
But whaddya gonna do. These things happen every so often. I’m sure I’ll go back to bashing politicians in due course, but in the meantime, Bramnick’s bill is an obvious slam dunk: It would force telemarketers to name themselves, give their phone number, and tell you who they’re representing and what they’re selling within the first 30 seconds of the absolutely annoying phone call.
“New Jerseyans should know who they’re talking to on the phone and what’s being sold to them by telemarketers,” Bramnick in a press release announcing the bill that sailed through committee. “My legislation requires more transparency from telemarketers and punishes those who lie and misrepresent information on sales calls. If you’re on the up and up, you should have no problem with this bill if you’re a telemarketer.”
And …
Actually, you know what? I am going to slam Bramnick. You know why? Because this won’t stop the non-stop barrage of telemarketing calls I get on a daily basis. In fact, I’m going to go count. Be right back …
I got 27 over the last seven-day period, and that’s 27 too many. The majority of them go like this … ME >> Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? TELEMARKETER {THICK FOREIGN ACCENT} >> Hi, my name is America Joe, and do you have Medicare?
ME >> Dude, I’m not old enough to have Medicare.
AMERICA JOE >> Then why did you answer the prompts, you (bleeping) (bleep) son of (bleep) (bleep)hole? {hangs up}
Oh yes; I often pick up the phone despite the “scam likely” appearing on the screen. Not all the time, not if I’m otherwise engaged in something else, but if I’m doing nothing? I’ll answer. Sometimes I’ll screw around, sometimes I’ll answer the questions to keep the crook on the phone.
Why? Well, I have a dream, and the dream is this: Everyone agrees to answer the phone and keep these asshats on the line for as long as possible. Obviously, this is a volume game for them, and if you keep them on the phone for as long as possible, you take the profit away. Seriously: If we all agree to answer the phone and engage with them, the telemarketer era will end.
Of course, there is a second issue here, namely: I’m surrounded by idiots. Clearly, these telemarketing criminals — and really, they’re all criminals, right? — get enough people to fork over credit card information or social security numbers or gift cards or whatever to keep their scams alive.
Here’s a tip, sheeple: Don’t ever buy anything over the phone, don’t ever agree to anything over the phone, don’t do anything over the phone except talk to your friends, loved ones, and Domino’s.
It’s kind of unbelievable to me there are still schmoes out there who willingly, knowingly, give out their information over the phone. Honestly, good for the telemarketing mafia to take your money, dummies.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. Bramnick’s bill. Good bill. Step in the right direction.