Stories from the COVID-19 frontlines
Ukiah respiratory therapist shares her experience
At the start of the pandemic, the work of respiratory therapists was brought to the forefront as we learned early on how the COVID-19 virus affects the respiratory system.
Tanisha Valentine was just starting out as a respiratory therapist when the pandemic hit. She had spent 11 months in school and had just moved to Ukiah from Sacramento to start her new job. “I know as an RT, we get really busy during the flu season, so it was already going to be busy, but I didn’t think I’d start off during a pandemic.” And while it initially gave her anxiety to have to deal with a pandemic, she says caring for COVID-19 patients has made her realize even more that she’s doing what she was meant to do.
She said seeing patients who have made remarkable recoveries truly makes what she does worthwhile. “We had a patient who was on a ventilator and was able to recover and go home. I was with her from the beginning until the end. At one point, she was having a nervous attack because she couldn’t breathe. She was afraid she was going to die, and I told her ‘ we got you.’ ‘ We won’t let you pass away. We are going to do everything we can, and we will not give up on you.’ I needed her to calm down so we can help her. She was hyperventilating and it was making her breathe worse. I needed her to trust me. I told her to close her eyes and think about the beach, feel the sand on her toes, and hear the waves. So she closed her eyes and started to imagine the beach and she calmed down.”
That’s why it was even more gratifying when the same patient eventually was better and discharged two weeks after being on a ventilator. “It was amazing. To see her bounce back, to see the smile on her face and how thankful she was. It made me proud and made me realize, this is exactly what I’m meant to do, I’m in the right place.”
As a respiratory therapist, Valentine helps patients who have difficulty breathing. “I give them breathing treatments, make sure they’re getting enough oxygen. If we need to put them on a ventilator, I make sure they are comfortable, I control the air flow, making sure they are getting what they need.”
Valentine says one of the most challenging aspects of caring for COVID patients is how quickly things can change. “There’s no warning. One day they’re on the ventilator, and then they’re sitting themselves up, they’re in good spirits, writing notes, and then you come back the next day and they go into cardiac arrest. It’s so hard for them and for us. You just feel kind of lost and defeated. And you start to second- guess yourself, ‘ what could I have done better, what could I have done differently?’”
What does she do in those moments? “I just have to calm those thoughts, take a step back and talk myself through it. You just think to yourself, ‘ you’ve done everything you possibly could. Don’t beat yourself up.’ I have to pick myself up and tell myself that It affects people in different ways and sometimes their bodies just can’t take it.”
Valentine said losing a patient was heartbreaking, not just for the families but also for the team, especially knowing how their families are suffering. “It has been hard because we couldn’t have any visitors, so the families couldn’t be there. We had family members outside their windows looking in. And to just hear them crying, banging on the glass. It’s so heartbreaking. It’s like an out of body experience, you can’t believe it’s happening. It’s something I would not wish on anyone to witness and something I will never forget.”
Valentine says she stays with the patient and makes sure someone is there for them in their last moments. “I held their hands and talked to them. We said a couple of prayers. We set up a tablet so they can Face-time with their families and say their goodbyes. I think it helped their families knowing that we were there, knowing that they didn’t die alone.”
The one thing she will take away from this experience? “It’s important to always be compassionate, to slow down and take the time to comfort them and not treat them any differently, like they have this contagious disease.
These patients with COVID, they’ve heard so much about it, and they are so scared, they lose faith. Our job is to give them hope. When they don’t have hope, they get a little sicker. Hope is such a powerful medicine. So besides the medical care, they need love, someone to cheer them up. They look to us for hope. So even when it’s hard, even when I’m losing hope myself, I can’t show them — I have to be strong for them.”
And even as our cases are starting to go down, Valentine says, we’re still in a pandemic and now is not the time to be complacent. “I’m going to keep doing my part and I’d like to ask our community to do their part. My parents are both immune-compromised. I’m taking every precaution possible, and I’m asking everyone to do the same. It’s not just about you, it’s about your friends, their families, our healthcare workers, and our whole community.”
“There’s no warning. One day they’re on the ventilator, and then they’re sitting themselves up, they’re in good spirits, writing notes, and then you come back the next day and they go into cardiac arrest. It’s so hard for them and for us. You just feel kind of lost and defeated. And you start to second-guess yourself, ‘what could I have done better, what could I have done differently?”
— Tanisha Valentine