Couple wants only ‘classy’ public displays of affection
ENAL Ahp » My wife and I have been happily married for over 20 years. We have a question about how to handle an issue with some friends of ours. “Jake” is 56 and “Lucy” is 52. My wife and I are 50 and 53.
Both Jake and Lucy are getting divorced after having been married to their exes for over 25 years each.
Jake and Lucy have been dating for a couple of months now. They are very into each other. My wife and I think this is great, but we are both uncomfortable with their behavior.
Lucy shares far too many details with my wife about her sex life. My wife says it makes her feel uneasy. Jake does the same thing with me, but to a much lesser degree.
They are all over each other like slutty teenagers in public. It gets even worse when the four of us are hanging out in our backyard.
We support public displays of affection when done with class, but we draw the line at borderline sex acts in our kitchen right in front of us — when the four of us are conversing over a bottle of wine.
Do you have any advice on how to politely ask Jake and Lucy to cut out the pornography and set some limits on what are appropriate actions when they are together in our presence?
— Blinded by the Sight ENAL CLINENE » I’m not sure what kind of PDA you consider “classy” versus “slutty,” but I’m going to guess that even though it’s hard to define, you know it when you see it.
It is common to overshare when you’re in the beginning stages of a compelling emotional/sexual relationship, whether you are a teenager or a middle-age divorcee. And the problem with couples behaving this way publicly is that it completely excludes others, turning witnesses into an audience.
If pornographic displays have erupted in your backyard, your kitchen, or elsewhere on your property, you can good-naturedly say a version of: “Hey, don’t make me get out the hose,” or “Whoa, get a room, you two!”
Privately, you and your wife should honestly tell your (respective) friends, “We are so happy for you. It is obvious that you are really into each other, but some of the conversation about your sexual relationship and some of the more graphic public displays of affection are making me uncomfortable.”
DEAR AMY » “I Like Being Alone” was planning some hikes at nearby national parks and didn’t want to invite her coworker, due to her dog’s bad habits.
She might have an easy out ... most national parks do not allow dogs!
— Like to Hike
DEAR LIKE TO HIKE » Many readers pointed this out. My own research shows that different parks have different rules: Check Nps.gov for specifics.