Mask request brings on ridiculous reactions
DEAR AMY >> I work in an office where many people work remotely but are in the office a day or two a week for a few hours at a time.
We all have individual offices but often chat briefly individually and inperson about our personal lives.
A co-worker recently said she was “uncomfortable” about the amount of traveling I do on my days off and requested I always wear a mask around her.
I acknowledged her concern by saying that of course I would wear a mask.
I have decided to no longer engage in personal conversations at work and now this seems to be a problem for her.
I haven’t been mean about it; I am simply choosing to no longer engage in private conversations with her.
What I do away from work is really no one else’s business. I am a very safe traveler and practice good hygiene and have not been sick since the outbreak of the pandemic.
This particular coworker smokes and drinks to excess on her days off, but I have never judged her or spoken to her about her chances of contracting cancer from her habits.
Do you have any words of wisdom for those of us still working in an office on handling the various attitudes and personal responsibilities to one another during this time? — Don’t Judge Me
DEAR DON’T JUDGE ME >> If you don’t want to be harshly judged, then don’t be reactive and judgmental, yourself.
Your co-worker’s smoking and drinking habits when she is at home have no bearing on your health — and you know it.
Your traveling could (conceivably) have a bearing on hers — and others’ — and you know that, too.
My advice to people sharing office space is to comply with the local, statewide, and companywide guidelines.
My advice to people wrestling with how to behave toward others who are at risk, nervous, anxious — or outright neurotic about contracting COVID — is that the people who are physically and mentally healthier should adjust their behavior to the level of the most vulnerable.
It’s no fun, and sometimes (as in your case), you can feel manipulated, disrespected, or wounded.
Your co-worker’s mask request was reasonable. Your defensive response was ridiculous, as was hers! At last, common ground.
DEAR AMY >> I want to give your readers a different perspective on how rough the holiday season has been.
I am married to a police officer. We do not have children. A lot of years I am alone on Christmas or attend family events by myself because he is working or sleeping to prepare for his shift.
And you know what? It’s OK! I plan movies to watch, light some candles and buy food I love to indulge in.
Several years ago, my mom was in the hospital on Christmas and those doctors, nurses, and support staff were there, too.
Hopefully next year will be normal for those of you going through this “new normal,” but remember next year that your normal is not everyone’s reality.