Siblings can love (but not like) each other

DEAR AMY » After becoming a born-again Christian, my brother seemed to feel it was his responsibility to be my moral compass. He critiques my faith, my life and my family. He’s a far-right conservative and never fails to weigh in on any liberal post I make in social media, apparently feeling it necessary to correct my wrong-headedness. He even commented that his son’s liberal opinions weren’t valid. For most of this I just roll my eyes and ignore him.

He has now chosen to voice his disapproval of my daughter. Why? Because she, with a successful career and beautiful family, is gay. He stated that while he loves my child, he can’t condone her lifestyle.

As for my relationship with my brother, I’m not sure I want to get over this hurdle. I love him, I just don’t like him much right now, and I’m not sure that it’s worth maintaining a relationship when he keeps thumping me with his superiority and his Bible.

— Seething Sister

DEAR SEETHING » Your brother has answered this for you: You can continue to love him, while not condoning HIS lifestyle.

I gather that the majority of these connections happen over Facebook. The day you disengage from him, your blood pressure will return to normal. Look into how to hide, unfollow, and block before actually “unfriending” him. You can start by exploring the “snooze” function.

DEAR AMY » “M” asked if you had any advice for aspiring journal keepers.

In my pediatric practice, I’ve noticed that many of my patients experience stress and anxiety, especially during the pandemic.

Writing in a journal has helped me, so to introduce my patients to writing, I made up a short writing exercise, the 3-Minute Mental Makeover (3MMM). I give out journals and write together with my patients using the 3MMM as a guide. My research showed the 3MMM decreases stress for parents, kids, and health practitioners.

To do the 3MMM, write:

One: Three things you are grateful for. Be specific (“My dog when she wags her tail; My dad when he bakes cookies.”)

Two: The story of your life in six words (Example: “Born, school, work, work, work, work.”)

Three: Three wishes. (Pretend you rub a magic lamp. List your wishes.)

I have used the 3MMM with thousands of people, and many who didn’t think they could write have started a reflective writing practice.

— David G. Thoele, M.D.,

Chicago

DEAR DAVID » This is wonderful! It is so thoughtful for a pediatrician to work with young patients in this way.

I’m starting my own 3MMM writing practice today.