The best gift of all

DEAR HARRIETTE » Igo to visit my family every Christmas. This year, there are two new babies, lots of young adults and us older folks. My family and I fly to be with the rest of the family. The whole trip is fairly expensive, but we love being together. Sadly, we couldn’t do it last year because of COVID-19.

All of us will be there this year, but I don’t have a lot of money left for gifts for everyone. What I want to do is concentrate on the children, the babies.

Do you think that’s OK? Should I say something in advance, given that we usually bring a lot of presents? I want to manage expectations. The other guests all live locally, so they probably have more money to spend on gifts.

— Fewer Gifts

DEAR FEWER GIFTS » Let’s start by saying that the gift of being in each other’s company is the best gift of all, in my book. I will add that you shouldn’t count other people’s money. Those local folks may also have tighter wallets this year.

It’s a good idea to speak to your family members, at least the host, to express your intentions for holiday gifts. Let them know that you will concentrate on the little ones. Perhaps you can give cards to the others. You might also suggest a philanthropic idea that your family can participate in where you give to those in need. My sister has organized a charity service at her church for years. We and others adopt needy families and provide food, gift items and sometimes money so that others can enjoy the holidays the way we do. You might consider pooling resources and doing something similar as a group rather than spending so much on items that the young and older adults don’t need.