Boss gets the cold shoulder from co-workers

DEAR HARRIETTE » I got a promotion a couple of weeks ago, and now everyone is treating me differently. My co-workers hardly speak to me anymore. When they do speak to me, the energy is very tense and awkward. They treat me like I’m their boss and not their friend. This change of behavior at work is making me uncomfortable, to say the very least. What should I do?

— Promoted

DEAR PROMOTED » Congratulations on your promotion. You should know that when an employee is promoted and that person has been friends with co-workers, there is usually a period of readjustment. If you are now their boss, you have to figure out how you will work together moving forward. Things will not be exactly the same. If your role is in management, it means that you need to be clear about who you will be managing and what their job descriptions are so that you can set clear expectations with them. Do your research. Figure out exactly what your relationship should be with your co-workers. Talk to your boss for guidance.

Meet with each person individually and then with the team. Let them know that you want to have a positive working relationship with them, even as this transition is occurring. Let them know you continue to value them and care about them. Be clear about what your new role is and what it means in relation to them. Invite them to ask questions and offer their thoughts.

You will need to refresh your relationship with them. You can’t be the buddy who commiserates with them about work if you did that before. Know your company’s expectations of you so that you can stand in that role with grace and clarity.