`P.S. WE LOVE YOU'
Food, drink and laughter to benefit Project Sanctuary
“It takes a village to help provide healing and support for these victims.” — Amy Wray, Project Sanctuary board member
What started out as a grassroots all-volunteer hotline in 1977, the subsequent establishment of a “battered women's shelter” and a merging with their sister agency on the coast in 1990 has since grown into Project Sanctuary, a full-service, domestic violence and sexual assault crisis intervention responder available throughout Mendocino County whose mission is to prevent domestic violence and sexual assault through advocacy, crisis response, community collaboration, education and shelter.
Project Sanctuary's free services include 24/7 crisis response for victims; individual and group counseling both scheduled and walk in; prevention education, K-12, college and community settings; legal advocacy for those seeking restraining orders; emergency room hospital accompaniment for victims of rape; and emergency confidential shelter and transitional housing.
Working collaboratively, Project Sanctuary and Total Bern Productions are stepping a bit outside the box for the annual “PS We Love You” benefit show — with all proceeds going to PS — to be held on Saturday, Sept. 30 at The Oaks at Nelson Family Vineyards.
This year's event will be a clean comedy show for those 21 and older featuring Dennis Gaxiola, global performer and the nation's hottest clean comic who incorporates humor into everyday life lessons, and Phil Johnson, who combines his love of standup comedy and music and uses
humor to connect the relatively smaller lives of people to the bigger world.
For Amy Wray, a member of the PS board and chair of this year's fundraising committee, it's personal.
“I became involved with PS about 8-10 years ago when they supported me out of a long-term relationship. I went to them for counseling and they helped me with a temporary restraining order that gave me the time and space to get out of the situation I was in.”
She's been affiliated with them ever since having served as a volunteer crisis counselor for a year and now as a member of the board.
Crisis counselors — as well as all volunteers at PS — must complete 80 hours of state mandated training. They are on call 24/7 rotation, primarily after the regular staff goes off duty and are state mandated to return a call within 10 minutes.
“We usually see an increase of calls during the holidays and with extreme temperatures, heat in particular.”
When COVID hit, they had to shut down their offices.
“The increase of calls went up substantially and, unfortunately, many of the calls were coming from children who were stuck in homes with abusive parents, exposed to more violence than usual, whether partner to partner or adult to child.”
Project Sanctuary has offices in Ukiah and Fort Bragg and provides free housing in an emergency shelter and a transitional duplex for individuals and families in need. In an average year they provide 2,000 bed nights of shelter, sometimes for those who will stay for to up to 1-2 years.
“It takes time to get people reestablished; a lot of the clients need to develop job skills, learn how to budget money which they had never done because they were previously under someone's control.
“It takes a village to help provide healing and support for these victims. This is why we reach out once a year, our one big ask. We would really appreciate the community coming out and supporting this valuable asset and resource.”
In the past, “PS We Love You” has raised about $20,000 to help fund critical funding gaps that do not get covered by state and federal funding, especially important this year as domestic violence funding has remained stagnant for several years.
For Jake Bernie, it's also personal.
He received services from an organization in Sonoma County before he got clean and sober — some 28 years ago — in escaping from street violence, getting help for himself and his older son.
“When I got clean, I did a lot of personal work around my own perpetration, not necessarily violence but control, considered to be domestic violence.”
He was first introduced to Project Sanctuary when he came to Ukiah in the early 2000s and participated in “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes,” the international men's march to stop rape, sexual assault and gender violence. He was the top money earner that year and says he still has the stilettos he wore to walk the mile around downtown.
As a social worker in the county, he worked closely with Project Sanctuary over the years.
“Domestic and sexual violence is so prevalent in our community; the need for PS is huge.”
Due to an unforeseen occurrence at work, he left the employ of the county and with the help of his son now owns and operates Total Bern Productions/north Coast Comedy, a sound and DJ company that specializes in weddings and other events.
He produces comedy shows in Mendocino, Lake and Sonoma counties and puts on benefit shows locally for non-profits throughout the year.
His first big fundraiser, “Laughter for the Arts” at Ukiah High, the night before the COVID shutdown, raised $10,000 for arts programs at the high school and he has since done benefit shows for the Boys & Girls Club of Ukiah, Willits High School and the Alex Rorabaugh Center.
“There's almost no one in this county who hasn't been touched by Project Sanctuary in one way or another — whether it be a victim, a survivor, a family member, a child, someone you know in the community, at work or at school.
“Domestic and sexual violence creates a ripple effect, disturbing everything that's connected to it.
“Project Sanctuary benefits the community in so many ways — reducing crime, transmission of disease, violence, jail time. It's important to educate people, to get the message out.”
Sponsors include: Community First Credit Union; Savings Bank of Mendocino County; Vocality Community Credit Union; 101 Trailer and RV; Mike Mcguire, State Senate; Jim Wood, State Assembly; Kathy Brigham; Frey Vineyards, LTD; Ukiah Adventist Hospital; MCHC; The Days Inn by Windham; DFM Auto Repair; Ken Fowler Auto Center; Thurston Auto; Mathew & Tamara Alaniz; Sergio Fuentes; Carter Rich; The Golden Pig; Thatcher Inn/ Stock Farm; Ukiah Paper Supply; Soroptimists Ukiah; Sons of Italy; Northbay Assoc. of Realtors; Mendo Mill; Rainbow Ag; Paul Shimmin; Redwood Community Credit Union; The Moonlady; Carrie & Tom Brigham; Vannucci, Momson, & Morrow; BAS Roofing; Redwood Community Services; The Works Ukiah; and Soroptimist International.
Tickets at $75 are available at the Mendocino Book Company and online at https://www.eventbrite. com/e/717232480657?aff=
oddtdtcreator — and include charcuterie catered by Sunshine Grazing, two drink tickets, two comedy shows, a live auction with Tom Allman and a silent auction.
Doors open at 5 p.m. with the shows at 6:30 and 8 p.m. Hosted and sound spun live by Jake the Bern Man Bernie of Total Bern Productions/ North Coast Comedy.
To make a contribution to Project Sanctuary go to their website or mail your donation to Project Sanctuary, P.O. Box 450, Ukiah, CA 95482.
The inland office is located at 564 S. Dora, Suite A-1, Ukiah, phone number 707-462-9196. The coast office is at 461 N. Franklin St., Fort Bragg, phone number 707-961-1507. Crisis counselors are available 24/7, inland at 707463-4357 and on the coast at 707-964-4357.