Canes and OB disappoint, but Miami at least will host two teams it hates in CFP title game
The phrase “two out of three ain’t bad” is a thing, and inexplicably always said with the casual grammatical wink built in.
The bromide may arise from the theory in international macroeconomics that suggests a country must choose among free capital mobility, exchange-rate management and monetary autonomy — but that only two of the three are possible.
Or, it might be based on the lovelorn 1978 power ballad, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad,” by Meat Loaf. (Do his friends call him Meat? In a formal setting is he introduced as “Mr. Loaf”?).
All of this crossed the mind as we reckoned Miami’s place in the college football postseason now upon us in this year like no other.
In this case, alas, let’s say one out of three ain’t bad:
• Really good: The city of Miami and Miami-dade County win big, of course, because they’ll be hosting the College Football Playoff national championship game on Jan. 11 at Hard Rock Stadium. The final four teams clawing to get here guarantees that South Florida fans will have at least one team and likely two to root against that night. (We’ll tell you why a bit later).
• Not so good: Miami, city and county, will see an 88th edition of the grand old Orange Bowl, in the same stadium on Jan. 2, featuring a Texas A&M
vs. North Carolina matchup that's OK but not nearly what it might have been. (More on that in a second, too).
• Not so good at all: The Miami Hurricanes. Remember how in the cartoons you'd see Wile E. Coyote falling from a high perch and going splat far below? The Canes' season went like that. One minute UM is 8-1, top 10-ranked and poised for an invite to the hometown Orange Bowl. Splat: A 62-26 loss to North Carolina in which The U's defense gave up approximately 17,600 rushing yards. Result: Canes coach Manny Diaz mustering every fiber of strength in his body to say with a straight face how honored the program is to be playing in the Cheez-it Bowl.
Yes, the Cheez-it Bowl. Putting a positive spin on it, it's a little like the Orange Bowl in that Cheez-it crackers make your fingers sort of orange.
The good news? Big upgrade from a year earlier, when UM was 6-6 and relegated to the minor Independence Bowl and a chance to play (and lose 14-0 to) Louisiana Tech.
Now it'll be UM vs. Oklahoma State in the December 29 bowl in Orlando scheduled to be played in the hidden twilight of a 5:30 p.m. kickoff.
Fun fact: Cheez-it is a firstyear sponsor and the ninth different name this bowl game has had.
It also is the latest in a continuing series of answers to the recurring question, “Is The U back?”
Question: “Is The U back?” Latest answer: “Cheez-it Bowl.”
Along with the Hurricanes' newest disappointing finish to a season of some promise, the Orange Bowl folks must bravepretend Texas A&M and North Carolina is the matchup they dreamed of. A&M at least brings some sizzle, as the No. 5 -ranked team, odd-team-out of the championship playoff.
The OB could-a/would-a/ should-a had Hurricanes vs. Florida Gators. The Orange gets the highest-ranked ACC team not in the CFP, and the highestranked available SEC or Big Ten team.
Well, Miami would have been that ACC team had it not timed perhaps the worst defensive performance in program history for UNC. And the Gators narrowly missed an OB ticket, too. (I actually thought the Gators enhanced their chances in losing the SEC title game to `Bama, 52-46).
Miami at least ends the college postseason by playing the strongest possible hand in hosting the CFP title game.
With four surviving teams so easy to respect and yet dislike, it's can't miss for Miami fans.
Alabama gives us Nick Saban, who as Dolphins coach famously said, “I'm not going to be the Alabama coach,” just prior to becoming the Alabama coach.
Clemson and Dabo Swinney offer to Miami fans the ACC nemesis that has clobbered the Canes in the past three meetings by a combined score of 13820.
Ohio State infamously snatched the national championship from Miami in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl, and arrives this time as the interloper who made the CFP despite playing only six games in a pandemic-wracked season.
Notre Dame? C'mon, we all hate Notre Dame, especially Canes fans — and especially now. The Fighting Irish were in the ACC for the first time this year, and were the reason (along with the conference's singledivision pandemic realignment) that UM wasn't in the conference championship game.
So Miami will have plenty of visceral interest in the CFP championship game it is hosting.
It's no Cheez-it Bowl, but it'll have to do.