It must be true...

I read it in the tabloids

■ A Vermont robbery suspect eluded police for two weeks by fleeing in a car, bike, tractor, sailboat, and kayak. Eric Edson, 52, who allegedly robbed a store in Burlington, fled after being spotted in a car by police a week later. Spotted again that night, he escaped on foot, then on a stolen bicycle. He rode to Lake Champlain, where he stole a sailboat, fleeing on foot when it ran aground. In subsequent days he was seen riding a stolen tractor and dump truck before he was spotted kayaking on a river 20 miles from Burlington. He dumped the kayak and tried to run away, but was caught.

■ A pair of 69-year-old British twins wear matching outfits every day, spend most days together, have the same hairstyle, and live next door to each other in identical houses with matching layouts and color schemes. “We are very similar,” said Rosey Coles of herself and sister Kathy Heffernan, of Hampshire, England. “It’s creepy.” The sisters dressed identically while growing up, but stopped as they married and moved apart. But when they divorced and moved back near each other a decade ago, they resumed their parallel lives. It’s like “being married to someone for 70 years,” said Heffernan, except “we don’t argue.”

■ A drunk driver in Nebraska called police to report a car going the wrong way on the highway—when he was actually the one driving against traffic. “He had his brights on, man,” the driver told a 911 operator. “He almost ran me off the road. That was gnarly!” Pulled over by police, he’s heard on body camera video confessing to making the call because “I thought someone was on the wrong side of the road.” The officer asked, “But it turned out it was you?” The driver responded, “Yep, like a dumb f---.” He was then arrested.