Vets at Coffee Shop Reflect Town’s Pulse

I cruised into town again to check on the elderly veterans usually arrayed on folding chairs in front of the coffee shop.

They were there, including the one with the 6-foot wooden folding tape measure. He wasn’t aiming it anyone this time, however. He was busy arguing with one of the town’s police officers.

“They can’t fit all of us inside,” he was insisting.

The officer sighed and nodded.

I sidled over to the takeout

• Who says you have to be human to serve your country? Between 2001 and 2009, a goat called William (“Billy”) Windsor was part of the 1st Battalion Infantry Unit of The Royal Welsh, with the title of lance corporal, no less. Although he was briefly demoted to fusilier following “unacceptable behavior” at Queen Elizabeth’s official birthday celebrations, he eventually saw the error of his ways and regained his more esteemed rank.

• Actor Brad Pitt chipped out pieces of his own front teeth to play the role of Tyler Durden in the movie “Fight Club.” window and ordered my coffee. I looked inside and no one was in there except one waitress, leaning on the counter and wearing a mask, and the girl at the front window who shoved the credit card machine at me with gloved hands.

The town council had recently decreed that certain businesses would be allowed to open, but only if they adhered to social distancing rules within the establishment.

“It’s a small place,” said another veteran. “And they don’t want us filling all the seats.”

“In case they get a big mob of customers,” said another.

The officer sighed again as his shoulder radio burped and squawked, and he turned to leave.

“The problem,” he said, walking away, “is that you’re blocking the sidewalk. Now that

• And speaking of teeth … in the American Civil War, soldiers were required to have at least four opposing front teeth so they could open a gunpowder pouch. Some draftees had their front chompers removed to avoid service.

• What’s in a name? Depends on where you’re from. When the Coca-Cola Company was ready to import to China, it needed a moniker that fit with the majority of that country’s spoken languages. The original choice, “Kekoukela,” sounded phonetically similar, but in certain dialects translates to “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax.” Further research yielded a far more satisfactory solution, “Kekoukele,” meaning “tasty fun.”

• Romantic poet Percy Bysshe Shelley was one of literature’s first prominent vegans. more people are out and about, we can’t have you sitting here like this.”

Not that there were many more people.

A teenage girl came down the sidewalk and the veteran with the measuring stick asked her, “Miss, are we blocking your way?”

She smiled and said as she passed by, “No, sir, you’re fine.”

Which was good for at least 10 minutes of conversation about the nice manners of some of the local young, as opposed to the policeman who hadn’t said “sir” even once.

By the time I left, they had the teen’s future all mapped out: She would become a nurse and work at the VA hospital. They were certain of it. And everything would be all right.

(c) 2020 King Features Synd., Inc.

* Scientists studying a deadly disease transmitted from camels also found that the animals contained the pathogens from which the common cold was born. Do we now know whom to blame?

• As many as 35% of people who hire a professional cleaning service admitted to cleaning up before the help arrives.

• Native Southerners might well be surprised to learn that the word “y’all” dates to 1631! It was first used by the English scholar William Lisle in the sentence, “The captive men of strength I gave to you, the weaker sold; and this y’all know is true.”

••• Thought for the Day: “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” — Helen Keller

(c) 2020 King Features Synd., Inc.