Wife doesn’t notice husband’s new look

DEAR AMY >> What does it mean (if anything) when a husband cuts off his facial hair, such as a goatee and or beard, and his wife doesn’t notice for a day or two, even when you are together?

— Baffled

DEAR BAFFLED >> My mother had a friend who decided to test her family’s attention by appearing at the breakfast table wearing a full-on ski mask.

No one said a word. The point is that families sometimes stop seeing one another. Proximity can inspire invisibility.

So yes, this lack of attention means something, but it doesn’t mean everything.

This may have hurt your feelings, however, so discuss it with your wife, and be emotionally honest.

You should both ask yourselves how “present” you are in your daily lives. Do you notice positive changes your spouse has made, and acknowledge them?

When you do notice and remark on changes — little or large — you are quite literally saying, “I see you.”

DEAR AMY >> I am a former university president and my schooling was in clinical psychology.

My wife and I read your column for entertainment purposes.

The letters are interesting, and anyone can guess what your solution will be — see a counselor.

That way, people won’t have to face their somewhat stupid problems on their own and instead rely on some idiot who doesn’t have a clue to give them advice.

I’ve dealt with socalled marriage counselors, better-called marriage referees, and they solved nothing that a few shouts and yells wouldn’t have resolved.

Anyway, you’re making a nice living giving out useless but harmless advice, and ensuring that all of those “counselors” out there also make a good living.

Don’t stop. Your columns are fun with our coffee.

— Ed D

DEAR ED D >> Your extreme bitterness makes me wonder if you would benefit from... oh, never mind.