Coming of age in a digital world
Parents of St. Vrain Valley School District students came together on Wednesday evening at Frederick High School to talk about how they can help their kids navigate the challenges of today’s digital age.
Devorah Heitner, author of “Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World,” led the discussion. Heitner’s book touches on several themes of communication between parents and their kids, with an emphasis on mentoring kids rather than monitoring them.
“I know that this is a district that cares deeply about using technology in a really thoughtful way, and thinking about students’ whole lives and everything that they experience,” Heitner told guests on Wednesday. “I think for any of us who didn’t grow up as documented as our kids are being documented, we can kind of have some empathy.”
The presentation was part of the St. Vrain Parent University program, which hosts classes and events aimed at giving parents resources to help their students thrive.
“As part of Parent University, we try to host conversations to help parents…ensure that each of their students can be the best people they can be,” said Michelle Bourgeois, chief technology officer for the school district.
Heitner, who lives in Illinois, has a doctorate in Media/technology & Society from Northwestern University, and her work has appeared in publications including the New York Times and The Washington Post.
In her presentation, Heitner spoke about the importance of friendships for kids and teenages, drawing a distinction between friends and online followers. She stressed that successful
friendships are tied to healthy communication, including things like proper phone and texting etiquette.
“We need to help our kids with their friendships and relationships,” Heitner said. “A lot of it is by talking to them about their experiences and supporting them when they have a hard time.”
Heitner also touched on how much social media impacts the self-esteem of kids, especially teenagers. In conducting research
for her book, Heitner said many teens called Tiktok “addicting” with its personalized content.
“Teenagers and tweens are even more sensitive to social approval than adults, but we all want to be liked,” Heitner said.
“We worry about a world where you can literally compare your number of followers or the likes that you get for a photo.”
Heitner pointed to learning a new skill, doing chores and helping people in the community as things that build self-esteem. She said social media can even help achieve some of these things — one perk of today’s digital media landscape.
The presentation was attended by a couple dozen parents, all of whom received a free copy of “Growing Up in Public.” Heitner closed the talk by taking audience questions, which ranged from how to limit phone access to why certain kids like social media while others don’t.
Ultimately, Heitner said, allowing kids to form friendships and social connections is necessary, perhaps more than ever in the wake of the isolation brought on by the pandemic.
“Any kind of in-person interaction, I would say, is a plus,” Heitner said.