Relatives aren’t thankful for political discord

DEAR AMY » My husband and I are in our late-60s. We have no children. We are usually invited by nieces and nephews to join them for Thanksgiving dinner.

My problem concerns my brother, “Jack,” who inevitably brings up topics that we do not agree with (he believes that COVID is just a mild flu, vaccines are not useful, the last election was stolen, the current president is stupid, climate change is a hoax, etc.).

Most of the family supported the former president in the last election; we are probably the only ones in the family who voted Democratic.

At one of the last family get-togethers, Jack and another family member were having a discussion in front of my husband, saying that most Democrats don’t go to church and don’t have morals.

My husband didn’t say anything, but he was offended.

Although we would like to see family members, we think we will just stay home for Thanksgiving.

When and if we are invited, I can say that we made other plans, but someone will inevitably ask what we are doing.

Should I just tell Jack that I am tired of him bringing up inflammatory topics, and I am staying home?

I know he will not refrain from bringing up these topics, and he is very dogmatic in his views.

— Tired

DEAR TIRED » In addition to the political divide, you have described an incident where your husband was offended (for good reason), but didn’t respond.

Why not?

You seem extremely passive in the face of this onslaught, perhaps because it is overwhelming in the moment, but it seems to me that these family members aren’t starting arguments — because they all agree with each other.

All the same — it is galling to be lectured to, especially since your guy is in the White House.

You don’t need to invent an excuse in order to decline this year. Just tell them you’ve decided to take a break from politics.

DEAR AMY » You maintained that a father who refused to address his child by their new “nonbinary” identity was being “hateful.”

Just because the cultural paradigm has changed, the truth and science has not.

Amy, you are alienating and marginalizing a significant portion of the population.

DEAR SB » Ironically, “alienating and marginalizing” was exactly what this father was doing.