Donald J. Trump is the greatest president ever
Donald J. Trump is still my president and yours and there’s nothing you snowflakes can do about that. I’ve been pondering the “C” word lately and why President Trump refuses to say it. Stop the Steal! We all know Trump won his re-election in a landslide. It was rigged! If not for the China plague, massive fraud and some Venezuela communist doing his Mr. Robot hack at DumbMinion Software that changed seven million votes to rig this election, Trump strongly wins again. 10 million more Americans voted for Trump in 2020 than 2016.
No one would ever vote for Sleepy Josef Bidenovich. You think we’re giving Bernie and AOC a direct line to the Kremlin for their radical socialist agendas with no way of paying for it without raises our taxes hugely? Wrong! Just don’t mess with my Social Security and Medicare that you’re paying for. Rudy already told us that voters don’t get to decide our next president, the courts do. Not sure why we even bother voting when the courts can just name the Trump family to the Iron Throne.
Here’s what you dumb-ocrats never understood. Every night for four years we kicked back and drank our MAGAtinis, laughing about owning the libs. When Trump makes some obnoxious statement, your heads would explode. We just shook our heads and laughed. Like Trump, we ain’t politically correct. We don’t worry about some woke purity test. You never said anything inappropriate in your life?
Promises Made — Promises Kept. Trump defeated the phony FAKE NEWS!
Elections have consequences and Trump got three Supreme Court Justices! Ya’ll know what’s coming next as Republicans believe in the sanctity of life. No more killing babies. So if your daughter or granddaughter gets sexually assaulted, she’ll have to carry that rape-baby to term. At least you can name the kid “Barrett.”
When I said sanctity of life, I meant unborn fetuses. ‘Cuz once that baby is born, I don’t give a rat’s ass about them or the mother. If you’re promoting childcare, food stamps or rent subsidies to assist with that child’s quality of life — wrong again. Not with my hard-earned tax dollars that I don’t pay.
Also when I said sanctity of life, I wasn’t talking about COVID protocols. I’ve got rights. You can’t make me wear some dumb mask. I ain’t no sheeple. If I wanna stand shoulder-toshoulder without a mask, yelling at the top of my lungs with thousands of fellow patriots at Trump rallies during a pandemic, it’s my right as an American! It is what it is. Deal with it. How many people have died in Humboldt due to COVID? Nine people over eight months? How many people normally die over eight months? We shut the economy down for what?
Lock her up! Trump locked up Hillary for life over her emails. ‘Nuff said.
Build the wall! Trump built a tremendous wall along 2,500 miles of our Mexican border. It’s at least 20 feet high with barbed wire, dogs, machine guns, motion sensor cameras and even a moat with alligators. We haven’t had illegal immigrant horde invasions into the United States to steal our jobs since Trump was inaugurated. And the best part — Trump got Mexico to pay for it.
Got rid of Obamacare! Trump promised us his first day in office he would repeal Obamacare and replace it with something better. He pledged to take care of all American’s healthcare with better coverage, lower prescription drug prices and much lower premiums. Trumpcare now rules the land.
Trump promised lower taxes for the middle class! He did cut taxes. It’s just that Google, Amazon and Trump combined now pay less federal income taxes than you and I. Somehow my taxes went up.
Republicans believe in balanced budgets and no deficits! Free trade and a global economy. So I’m not surprised when the fake news tells us we have record deficits and tariffs making all the imported stuff we purchase more expensive.
He went to Jared! Thanks to his Stepford son-in-law Jared Kushner, there are no more opioid overdoses, there’s peace in the Middle East and Jared cured COVID-19.
Trump got rid of the globalist running the world! Except for that Rupert Murdoch, the Australian billionaire CEO of News Corporation, which owns Fox News. He continued globaling, until Election Night when Fox News called Arizona for Biden. That was the final straw.
(Satire: a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule.)