Defying the landlord
Once you decide, you will either need to give your dog to someone who can be responsible for it or move to a building that welcomes pets. It is that simple.
Dear Harriette: I’ve been living in my rental home for three years now. My landlords don’t allow any pets whatsoever. I have asked about all types of pets: bunnies, cats, dogs, birds. The only pet that they allowed me to have is a fish.
Last week, I went out and rescued a dog from the pound. I caved in. He is very well trained, does not chew or scratch and is potty-trained. I can’t think of any reason why my landlords wouldn’t want him in the house because he does not have bad habits like some animals. I am taking a risk here, but what is the worst that could happen if they do find out about the dog? Could they terminate my annual lease? — Secret Dog-Lover
Dear Secret Dog-Lover: Yes, your lease could easily be terminated because you are breaking a hardand-fast rule that your landlords have put in place. Particularly since you have challenged them on more than one occasion trying to get them to soften and allow you to have a pet, and they have never agreed, you are in a precarious position. Know that this is not fair to the animal if you are told you have to get rid of the dog or move.
Now is the time that you have to decide. How important is it for you to live in this building? Which is more important — having a pet or living there? Once you decide, you will either need to give your dog to someone who can be responsible for it or move to a building that welcomes pets. It is that simple.
Dear Harriette: I feel like my mom is always working against me. Anytime I ask her to help me with something, she will do the opposite of what I asked her to do. If I don’t ask her for any help, she finds a way into my business and makes a bad decision. I guess it’s just her being a mom, but my mom has fairly bad judgment and often makes situations worse for me.
I want her in my life, but it’s becoming draining having to fix things after she has involved herself. I just want her to love me and let me handle my own business from now on, but I don’t have the heart to tell her to back off. Any pointers? I’m scared of breaking her heart. — Mama, I Got It
Dear Mama, I Got It: You are an adult, and it’s time you acted like one. You need to set boundaries around your relationship with your mother. Lovingly tell her how much you value her, but that you need to make your own decisions for your life. Tell her that it is important for you to handle your affairs independently of her. If she pushes back by saying she just wants to help you because she is your mom, tell her the best way she can help you is by giving you space to make decisions, even if that means you sometimes may make mistakes.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.