Creating a touchstone for success
If it weren’t for COVID-19, now would be the time of year where the gyms would be overstuffed with sweaty souls pounding on treadmills. This is the period when weight loss center would be bulging with aspiring dieters. (Um, I accept that may be a poor choice of words, but it’s accurate.)
These are the days of New Year’s resolutions and future broken promises.
Studies consistently show that somewhere around 90% of all resolutions die by mid-February with barely 20% making it through the first month of the year. Why is that?
One would certainly not say it’s because the goals of the resolution are no longer important a scant few weeks after they’ve been crafted. I mean, if I — on Jan. 1 — have decided that I’m too wide around my mid-section and want to thin down, that goal hasn’t evaporated two weeks later. Should my objective be to exercise more, 10 days doesn’t count as success.
So, why do so many dreams and resolutions end up on waste heap of good ideas?
Of course, there are many reasons, but in my experience, the number one reason is that between the time we set the goal and whatever short period later it evaporates, we have forgotten our “Why.”
Let me explain. No one — not you, not me, not your motivated cousin Pablo — decides to change his or her lifestyle unless there’s a reason. I mean, “no duh,” right? But seriously, let’s take for example, the number one resolution each year, getting fit and losing weight. No one resolves to shed those extra pounds just ‘cuz. They are doing it because they want to:
· Have more energy, or · Feel more in control, or · Improve their health stats, or
· Be more attractive, or · All of the above/Some of the above
What happens between the time they decide to make a change and the time they choose to chuck it, oft times, is they got too focused on the work of what they’re doing, and forgot why they’re doing it.
If all one sees is the sacrifice and the discomfort, there’s no amount of motivation that will keep him going; it becomes drudgery, pure and simple. However, if when tempted to have the double-bacon-extra-cheese-two-pounds-ofmeet burger with a planet sized order of deep fries, motivation at least stands a chance if he can say, “If I skip this now, I’ll feel so much more in control and be another day closer to wearing clothes that don’t look like they’re made by a tent-maker.”
It’s the difference between what I have to do and what I will get from doing it.
So, how does one do that?
Glad you asked. Recently, I’ve been promoting something I refer to as a touchstone; some refer to it as an “anchor.” A touchstone can be a person symbol or emblem that represents your dream and that helps you to stay on track and stay true to your vision. In effect, it’s a reminder to bring you back to what got you going in the first place.
Setting one up is simple. Take a moment and picture how you’re going to feel when you achieve your goal. Don’t just pass it off as “I’ll be thinner.” No, imagine it in detail. Picture the clothing you’ll wear. Imagine yourself checking out your profile in the mirror. (Better yet, imagine your significant other admiring it.) Pay attention to the feelings you’ll have at that moment, emotionally and physically. Make it as real in your imagination as you can. Spare no details.
Then, once you’ve got that fully locked in, “attach” it to an object. By that, I mean touch the necklace you’re wearing while you’re picturing the new you, and imagine all those feelings. Do it again. Wait a few minutes. Do it again. What you’ll start to notice is after a short while, each time you touch your necklace (or whatever you chose), you’ll feel those emotions and that image come back to you. If you don’t want to attach it to an object, come up with an affirmation or an expression, such as “I am in control, happy, healthy and attractive.”
When temptation raises its head, decide to wait five minutes before you give in, remove yourself from the temptation (even if it’s just a couple of feet away), and then use your touchstone while you take a deep breath.
Will it alleviate all temptations? Not a chance. Will it help? Most certainly. And, like the habit you’re now trying to erase, the more times you do it, the stronger it becomes, keeping you on your path to your true north.
Scott “Q” Marcus is a professional speaker and founder of www. ThisTimeIMeanIt.com, where he can be contacted for coaching, consulting, and presentations. During this social distancing period, he is conducting monthly on-line workshops on setting goals and getting past what holds you back. Find out more via his mailing list at http://eepurl.com/LsSIX