Friend caught in the middle
Dear Harriette: One of my girlfriends asked me to set her up with one of my guy friends, so I did. She said that the date went really well, but unfortunately he wasn't as into it as she was. When I talked to him afterward, he told me that he didn't find her attractive and did not feel a connection. It's been about a week since the date, and my girlfriend keeps bothering me about my guy friend ghosting her. I don't know how much more honest I can be with her about the fact that he just wasn't into her. What should I do? — Not Into You
Dear Not Into You: Your job is not matchmaker. Make that clear to her. Remind her that you did what she asked and connected them. The rest is up to them. Don't be the messenger going between the two of them. Tell her to back off. You cannot do anything else. You are sorry that he apparently didn't have the same experience she had, but it seems like it's time to move on. If she keeps pining for him, make it clear that you do not want to participate in that conversation anymore. Make a mental note that you may not want to match her up with anyone in the future.
Dear Harriette: I've recently watched many friends, colleagues and family members lose their jobs. I think that the constant fear of getting laid off might be more stressful than actually getting laid off. The thought of losing my job constantly lurks in the back of my mind, and I can't help but think that maybe I'm next. I can do only so much to reassure myself; nothing is ever guaranteed these days. What should I do to relieve the constant stress and worry that I feel? — Scared To Get Fired
Dear Scared To Get Fired: Adopt a positive approach about yourself and your work. Kindle your relationship with your boss and colleagues. Be a positive-minded problem solver. Think ahead and anticipate challenges that your company may face, and figure out how you can be of help to address whatever comes down the pike. Do not become a brown-noser; instead, become a thoughtful, attentive employee who cares about the health of the business. Always be on time and stay at work until everything is complete. Be willing to work overtime when needed. The more you can make yourself indispensable, the better off you will be.
Beyond that, prepare for the worst. Pay off your bills. Reduce your debt as best you can. Save as much as you can. Ideally, you should have a nest egg of at least six months' salary. Live frugally so that you will be able to survive if the day comes when it is harder to get by.
Finally, take care of yourself. Eat healthfully. Drink lots of water. Move your body daily. Surround yourself with positive people. Resist the temptation to talk about the endless what-ifs of job loss. Focus on the positives. Engage your dreams and imagine a great future for yourself. Your attitude is everything.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.