USA TODAY International Edition
Paltrow’s Goop summit: Pass the flavored oxygen
Top dollar for crystal therapy, kale goodies and Brain Octane Oil
If you’re no stranger to Goop, you know that luxurious gift guides, vaginal steaming and conscious uncoupling have long been
de rigueur at Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle website. Given the actress- turned- entrepreneur’s move into the health and wellness space, it’s no surprise Paltrow tested her first summit Saturday in Los Angeles. Roughly 600 attendees paid anywhere from $ 500 ( for a “Lapis” pass) to $ 1,500 ( for a “Clear Quartz” pass) to experience all things Goop for more than nine hours. From crystal therapy to organic bone broth sampling, here’s how our experience went down at Paltrow’s first conference:
8: 45 a. m. This is technically the time I’m allowed into “Goop hall,” where I’ve been promised a long list of vendors showcasing goods for me to try. But I’m still at home. The first session doesn’t start until 10 a. m., so what’s the harm in arriving a tad late?
9: 30 a. m. Huge mistake. After being given my entry pass — a bracelet of brown worry beads with a blue tassel — I enter Goop hall, and it is immediately epic. There’s a woman seated on cushions giving crystal therapy readings, the line for aura photography is 25 people deep, the flavored- oxygen bar is packed, and Dyson blowouts are in full swing. 9: 35 a. m. Mildly panicked, I quickly get to breakfast, sampling in quick succession: Bulletproof Coffee Plus ( coffee blended with something called Brain Octane Oil, grass- fed butter and pastureraised collagen protein), a tiny pink glazed donut from Erin McKenna’s Bakery and a sushi- inspired lox burrito from Kye’s.
9: 40 a. m. I spot Paltrow walking in and hugging her staff as she takes in the peak Goopdom. The crowd here is mostly female, white and ages 30 to 50. 10 a. m. We assemble in the “chat room,” a forum- style hall in which
Blythe Danner’s recorded voice welcomes us over the PA. Paltrow takes the stage to greet us and explains how she became interested in this space in 1999, after her father was diagnosed with throat cancer. “I was trying to get him to eat healthier, and I made him this batch of zucchini bread that was everything- free, and I thought it was delicious,” she says. “And he bit into it and went, ‘ Well, it’s like biting into The New York Times.’ ” As the audience chuckles, she says luckily gluten- free sugar- free food “has made a lot of progress since the ’ 90s.”
10: 15 p. m. Paltrow introduces us to the “the guy responsible for the term ‘ conscious uncoupling,’ ” Dr. Habib Sadeghi, who will be instructing us on something called Cosmic Flow. But it’s a rough start: Sadeghi’s hour- long session proves to be a puzzling jumble of his battle with testicular cancer, “the ontological experience called your life,” and queries on why water is wet and how birds know how to fly. He reads thank- you notes from his patients and holds an existential discussion on how we chew our lunch. “I am one of the most authentic beings you will ever meet!” says Sadeghi, which im-
mediately makes me question whether he is authentic. “Because I will never sell you short.” Somewhat deflated, I await the next session on gut health.
11: 35 p. m. Dr. Alejandro Junger ( known for his Paltrow- approved master cleanses) takes the stage with Drs. Steven Gundry and Amy Myers. I know nothing about gut health, so I’m here for this. But the first 10 minutes meander so much I sneak out to try more of the samplings in Goop hall. There goes my gut. 11: 45 p. m. Living the high life, I try Belcampo’s organic bone broth ( unsalted, it’s hospital- like but becomes more appetizing once you stir in offered mix- ins like apple cider vinegar and honey) before moving on to Moon Juice’s Blue Tonic with Brain Dust. There’s also a progressive display of pre- filled vape pens from hmbldt and an area called The Pharmacy, where you can buy Paltrow’s prepackaged vitamins ($ 90). 12: 05 p. m. Scooting back into gut health, it seems I’ve missed Gundry advising the audience to go hungry: “Don’t eat. I can’t stress that enough. We have the ability
to store fat,” he instructed.
12: 15 p. m. Break! Though all of the activities available in the courtyard were booked for the day by 10 a. m., I luck out and get my aura photographed ( a purple- y red, as it turns out, signifying I’m both a “visionary” and “passionate”). I sample “kale cookies ’ n cream” vegan ice cream. ( Pass.)
12: 35 p. m. On to a psychotherapy panel called The Tools! Paltrow moderates this one herself, and the session features her go- to doctors, Phil Stutz and Barry Michels. Initially, I’m worried they’re going to espouse more why- do- birds- fly generalities, but suddenly a redheaded woman volunteers to take the stage for a session of LIVE THERAPY. ( Paltrow gives up her seat and sits cross- legged on the floor.) It’s a remarkably raw, honest 30 minutes and closes with a talk about positive entitlement.
1: 15 pm Lunch is a yogi’s dream: Kale salads from Sweetgreen, poke bowls from Sweetfin, the matcha bar in full swing. Paltrow is off in an enclosed garden space having a catered meal with those who shelled out $ 1,500.
2: 55 p. m. I’m going to bypass a panel called The Mother Load, which discussed “reparenting” yourself, the value of maternity aftercare and breaking the chain of poor parenting ( I have no kids, so I can’t fairly rate this, but those around me were into it).
3: 45 p. m. The sex panel! Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more advice, renowned relationship expert Esther Perel disputes the common belief that women have lower libidos than men. “I don’t think women don’t want sex, I think women don’t want the sex they have,” she says. The session gets the biggest applause of the day.
5: 15 p. m. After a brief Q& A with Tracy Anderson, we’re on to the celebrity- packed keynote panel called Balls in the Air, which features Cameron Diaz, Tory Burch, Nicole Richie and Miranda Kerr, with Paltrow moderating.
Our overall take? We enjoyed the afternoon sessions, the crazily Goopy marketplace and free treats. But several sessions needed some work to justify that hefty price tag. Paltrow’s next “In Goop Health” conference will be in New York in January.