USA TODAY International Edition
These 25 coaches talk a good game
Best quotable is Clemson’s Swinney
Most preseason polls rank the best teams in college football. This one focuses on the best talkers.
The return of college football marks the return of something as synonymous with the sport as tailgating and marching bands: the coach’s news conference. Some are better at this exercise than others.
Reporters and editors at USA TODAY sat down to rank the 25 most quotable coaches, the men most likely to deliver an interview during the season that is insightful, entertaining or both:
1. Dabo Swinney, Clemson
Swinney can be inspirational, smart, funny — and sometimes all three, all in the course of a single news conference. “We’re the rednecks who moved into the nice neighborhood, but we belong,” he said in 2015. And another memorable line on why Alabama is the smartest state in the Union: “You know, four A’s and a B.”
2. Mike Leach, Washington State
Wedding planning. Aliens. The existence of Bigfoot. Ask Leach about pretty much anything — including a big victory — and you’ll get an interesting answer. “It’s a good win. There’s a lot of people,” he said of Washington State’s upset of Southern California last season. “It’s like Woodstock, except everybody’s got their clothes on.”
3. Jim Harbaugh, Michigan
The man who guards his practices and depth charts like they’re government secrets is nevertheless capable of some tremendous lines in interviews. Harbaugh has compared the start of a new season to “coming out of a mother’s womb, into football,” decried “candyass, 2 percent or skim milk” and dropped this gem on his daily use of vitamins: “I take a vitamin every day — it’s called a steak.”
4. Nick Saban, Alabama
When standing behind a podium, Saban can be boring, antagonistic or, in many cases, both. But he is also one of the sharpest and most-respected coaches in the game, and when he’s likening positive coverage to “rat poison” or referring questions to a bottle of Coca-Cola, it’s must-watch TV.
5. Lane Kiffin, Florida Atlantic
Kiffin’s Twitter account is a must-follow — and his interviews aren’t bad, either. “Coach Saban and I have a great relationship, regardless of what people may think,” he said after he was introduced at FAU. “I get my ass-chewings from time to time. I’ve learned to accept those.”
6. Ed Orgeron, LSU
You’ll need to decipher the accent, which isn’t always easy. But you’ll find some gems in there, such as this from last October: “I think he’s questionable for a questionable amount of time,” Orgeron said in response to a question about an injury.
7. Ken Niumatalolo, Navy
He might not drop a fiery-hot take or make headlines with a news conference, but he always brings thoughtful, candid and detailed responses to questions about his program or the sport. Ask Niumatalolo a terrific question and you’ll get a terrific answer — and that’s not always the case among his peers.
8. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia
You can’t credit Holgorsen’s quotability to Red Bull alone, since West Virginia’s contract with Coca-Cola led Holgorsen to switch his energy-drink brand of choice — it’s now Monster, not Red Bull. But Holgorsen is always a candidate to drop a quip or one-liner, especially on his Twitter account. In one PG-13 (or worse) tweet, Holgorsen wrote of the Mountaineers’ announced series with rival Pittsburgh, “ESPecially Happy About This!” he wrote. Note the three capital letters, which are code for “Eat (expletive) Pitt,” a favorite slogan among the WVU fan base.
9. Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M
Perhaps no coach talks at the same breakneck pace as Fisher. And when he really gets rolling, like he did after Florida State’s 2016 loss to Clemson, he’s as entertaining as they come.
10. Dan Mullen, Florida
Mullen on his first year at Florida: “I’m the opposite of (President) Trump in that I’m here to fill the Swamp, not drain it.” (The Swamp, in this case, refers to the Gators’ home field.)
11. Herm Edwards, Arizona State
He still plays to win the game (“Hello?”), but more recently, the Sun Devils new coach found himself concerned about fielding a question from “Devils Digest” at his introductory news conference. “‘Devils Digest’?” Edwards said. “I’m Catholic now, I’m Christian, watch out for them Devils. I’m just saying. We’re good brother, we’re good. I ain’t takin’ it personal.”
12. Dino Babers, Syracuse
Babers has to be the only coach in college football, if perhaps the only person on the planet, to use the phrase “baloney cheese.” As in, when describing the platitudes coaches spew every summer about the strength of their respective conferences, “This is no baloney cheese for me. This conference (the Atlantic Coast Conference) is a real football conference.” What does it mean? Who knows.
13. P.J. Fleck, Minnesota
Fleck is never doing OK, or fine, good or even very good — he’s doing “elite.” From his calls to “row the boat” to his mantra that “the ball is the program,” few head coaches have made catchphrases and slogans a bigger part of their vocabulary.
14. Larry Fedora, North Carolina
Unfortunately, Fedora’s way with words can backfire. Take his turn at the dais during the ACC media days, when he said that as football goes, so goes America. “Our game is under attack,” he said. “I fear that the game will be pushed so far from what we know that we won’t recognize it 10 years from now. And if it does, our country will go down, too.”
15. Scott Frost, Nebraska
Frost’s laid-back manner of speaking can sometimes dull his confident statements. Take a quote from his introductory news conference as the head coach at Nebraska, when he said in response to a question about adjusting his offense to fit the Big Ten, “I’m hoping the Big Ten has to modify their system to us.”
16. Tom Herman, Texas
Credit Herman for nearly always saying it like it is, as when he discussed the Longhorns’ offseason conditioning program last spring. “I think we’d know a lot more if some of these really fat guys lost some weight,” he said.
17. Chip Kelly, UCLA
From his dying affection for the movie “Fletch” to his thoughts on how to throw a football (you have to “flick it like a booger,” he once said), Kelly doesn’t get enough credit for having the most ... um, caustic wit among FBS coaches. “The sports reporters are very underpaid in this state,” Kelly once said during his stint at Oregon. “There should be a pension system for them and maybe some of them could retire early.”
18. Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech
Johnson can thoughtfully opine on big-picture issues but also provide a post-practice quip now and then. “He carried the ball a couple times,” he said in 2015, when asked about a candidate for a starting job in the backfield. “He fell forward. It wasn’t like it was Adrian Peterson reincarnated or something.”
19. Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State
Gundy all but cemented his place on any most-quotable list in 2007 with his legendary “I’m a man! I’m 40!” rant. But more recently, his mullet musings, including claims that it has provided “millions” of dollars worth of airtime for the university, have been entertaining, too.
20. James Franklin, Penn State
Among Franklin’s most newsworthy lines: His diss after the Nittany Lions lost to Pittsburgh, then won the following year: “I know last year for (Pitt’s) win (against us), it was like the Super Bowl. But for us, this was just like beating Akron.”
21. Matt Rhule, Baylor
Like others on this list, Rhule can be a sharp, thoughtful interview. And he doesn’t suffer for confidence. Entering his first year at Baylor, Rhule said of his plans for the Bears, “We want to win championships. We want to win the Big 12 championship. We want to win the national championship. I didn’t come here for anything else.” It’s doubtful his outlook has changed even after Baylor’s 1-11 season in 2017.
22. Joe Moorhead, Mississippi State
The Pittsburgh native and former Fordham Rams coach is getting his first taste of life in the South — and loving it so far. “You can find fried chicken and biscuits at every gas station,” he said in June. “That’s pretty neat.”
23. Steve Addazio, Boston College
“What’s better than this? Guys being dudes.” Addazio wants his Boston College program to be full of “dudes,” so he tells them: “Be a dude.”
24. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame
Kelly can be quotable for the wrong reasons, as after last September’s 20-19 loss to Georgia. He was asked whether he was concerned about another onepossession defeat. “It wasn’t one possession,” Kelly snapped, “it was one point.” Um, what?
25. Bobby Wilder, Old Dominion
His players at Old Dominion call them “Wilderisms.” Take P.M.A., for example, which stands for “Positive Mental Attitude.” Or his calls to “make today your masterpiece” and to “aim high,” or that “every day is your birthday.”