Memory gaps common for victims

Experts say that doesn’t always prove inaccuracy

Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh didn’t say Christine Blasey Ford was lying, just remembering it wrong. “I am not questioning and have not questioned that perhaps Dr. Ford at some point in her life was sexually assaulted by someone at some place, but what I know is I’ve never sexually assaulted anyone,” Kavanaugh told Fox News on Monday. A day earlier, Deborah Ramirez came forward in The New Yorker as the second woman publicly accusing him of sexual assault. And the second woman to acknowledge gaps in her memory of events. Critics pointed to those gaps and the three-plus decades that passed since the alleged assaults as proof of Kavanaugh’s innocence. Experts said the brain processes trauma differently from other events and gaps don’t detract from the veracity of the islands of memories victims do have. “Just because there are pieces missing doesn’t mean those that remain aren’t accurate, especially those central details of the experience that may be burned into the brain to the day they die,” said Jim Hopper, a Harvard Medical School consultant and teaching associate. Kavanaugh has denied both women’s allegations. Trauma memories Alcohol and time aren’t friends of a clear memory – even trauma can impair memories. But trauma also can enhance memories – the result of an evolutionary need for self-preservation. As fear kicks in, the brain goes into a phase of hyperencoding, or burning in, details about the beginnings of a dangerous scenario, such as the onset of sexual assault. It later shifts to a period of minimal encoding, when details not commanding the brain’s attention aren’t readily absorbed. Though memories – even fragmented – may be strong, many survivors try to avoid thinking about a traumatic event to move forward in their lives. Chrissa Hardy, 33, said her recollection was “hazy at best” after being raped at a party at age 17, but “the worst moments of that night I can see clearly.” She didn’t tell a soul for 10 years. “I packed it away in a tiny box in the corner of my mind, hoping I would be able to forget about it forever,” she said. “Eventually, memories of that night would pop into my head in pieces. And looking back, even when I wasn’t dealing with the flashbacks, I can see now that I was generally unhappy and angry a lot of the time. I’m sure that was due to the trauma I was repressing.” Buried (not forgotten) memories become unearthed when a person feels secure enough to confront them. Even when survivors recall an event to themselves or others, they may relate the story in broad strokes, not the specific feeling of someone’s hand covering their screams, for instance. “It may take years until someone feels safe enough to remember and tell someone else about those really horrific sensations,” Hopper said. Naming it Regardless of how detailed their memories of trauma are, many women will not label it assault or rape for months, years, sometimes ever. For Morgana McKenzie, a camera operator, her wake-up moment came filming a sexual assault conference and hearing one of the professionals describe repression due to self-blame or avoidance of the term rape. “I remember just zoning out for a moment and watching her through the viewfinder and feeling like, ‘Oh my God. That’s me. You just described me,’ “McKenzie said. A few years earlier, McKenzie said, a male colleague had driven her home, parked down the street from her house and began kissing her. She froze, she said, and it happened quickly: When she tried to get out of the car, he pulled her back in and closed the door. Real-world reminders of such painful memories can pop up in life daily and seem to make national headlines weekly. Though many assault survivors feel the need to avoid the news and social media for their own well-being, others turn toward it. “My go-to (when memories are triggered) is actually Twitter,” Hardy said. “I know that sounds crazy, because it’s also where I get death threats from trolls, but I’ve formed several close bonds with other survivors, so I know I can log on and see people who understand my pain processing the same news that I’m trying to process. It puts me at ease to be in a space where I know I’m not alone.”

“It may take years until someone feels safe enough to remember and tell someone else about those really horrific sensations.” Jim Hopper, Harvard Medical School

CAROLYN KASTER/AP Opponents of Brett Kavanaugh, who has been accused of sexual assault, protest at the Supreme Court on Monday.