USA TODAY International Edition
‘Dating Around’ is not your usual reality series
Authenticity and cinematic looks make Netflix’s getting-to-know-you series an added charm.
I’ve never actually enjoyed dating shows, but I’ve hate-watched plenty of them.
I’ve yelled “This is a boring conversation!” at the leading men on ABC’s “The Bachelor,” rolled my eyes at the pun-filled narration on MTV’s late-2000s show “Next” and scoffed at the standards held by rich, single clients on Bravo’s “Millionaire Matchmaker.”
Netflix’s “Dating Around” is the first reality show I enjoyed watching because it is a beautiful, poetic series that doesn’t mock its subjects.
At a time when dating has become an exercise in app roulette, with infinite options to swipe but the same awkward first-date hurdles, “Dating Around” captures the uncertain search for connection: no smug host, cheesy music or probing confessionals required.
“We didn’t want (daters) to sit down and say something outrageous, like in a 2005 reality show,” co-creator Chris Culvenor says. Instead, producers told the cast: “This is a real first date: Think about who you are, the stories you tell, what you want to want to get across.”
Here’s why “Dating Around,” the six-episode series now streaming, is the perfect 2019 reality show (unlike E!’s awful new “Dating: #NoFilter”).
We can all relate to the premise
Real singles don’t spend their first dates in hot-air balloons or on shopping sprees. In “Dating Around,” blind dates meet at a bar, get food, and, if all goes well, maybe a nightcap.
You know, just like regular people who aren’t on a contrived dating show.
“It’s not someone finding the love of their life and and proposing at the end,” Culvenor says. Instead, the show tries to capture a feeling of what it’s like to date: “a kaleidoscope about what it’s like to be single in the modern world.”
Each episode centers on a single “hero,” as Culvernor calls the main girl or guy, from a quirky Caucasian tech recruiter to a hip “gaysian” set designer. Each goes on six first dates and chooses one for a second date – a decision made off camera with no explanation.
Though set in New York City and featuring mostly beautiful people in trendy jobs, those close-to-typical folks are very relatable. They’re on standard dates, searching for common ground, tensely trying buzzy banter, like that experienced by anyone who didn’t marry their high school sweetheart.
It’s beautifully shot
Because the aesthetic is more “Master of None” noir than “Real Housewives” soap, the show feels like a romcom with authentic dialogue. The hero in each episode wears the same clothes and goes to the same restaurant for each of their dates, so it appears to be one long speed-dating session. Because first dates often have the same talking points – work, family, tattoos and the awful “why are you single” question – the format fits.
There’s diversity
Daters are gay, straight, bi, across the age spectrum and – remarkably for a reality show – not terribly self-conscious and desperate to marry.
Of course, there’s still a cute, bland heterosexual white guy who works in real estate. But a cast that includes more diversity demonstrates how “coming out” stories can surface, how race comes into play and how chats can be more seriousthe older you get.
It emphasizes how elusive finding a connection is
First-date kissers or late-night dancers don’t always make it to Round 2.
As in real life, “Dating Around” shows that a pretty-good date can be forgettable when hundreds of faces await swipes. These days, messages and romantic possibilities are endless.
But most of the show’s leads choose someone to see again, and sometimes those choices seem arbitrary.
Senior widower Leonard, trying to explain why he doesn’t want a second date with one woman, says, “It’s just a feeling. Everything to do with me and not you.”
And later: “I hate this (stuff).” Dating may be terrible; but “Dating Around” reminds viewers that there can be beauty in the search.
“We didn’t want (daters) to sit down and say something outrageous, like in a 2005 reality show.” Chris Culvenor Co-creator of “Dating Around”