USA TODAY International Edition
Star power lights up dark knights
You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? Because a bunch of dudes in Hollywood sure have.
To play Gotham City’s favorite son Batman on the big screen, you’ve got to have thick skin, a square jaw, six-pack abs (not really – the Batsuit will take care of that) and the ability to play both Dark Knight and unmasked rich-guy alter ego Bruce Wayne. And it’s a good time to celebrate all these guys, with the 30th anniversary of director Tim Burton’s “Batman,” which unleashed “Batmania” on pop culture and a hero in Michael Keaton who has no problem getting physical (“You wanna get nuts? Come on, let’s get nuts”).
In honor of the blockbuster that punched the summer of 1989 right in the face, here’s our definitive ranking of cinematic Batmen over the years.
7. George Clooney
If only sporting Bat-nipples was his biggest problem in “Batman & Robin” (1997). Clooney’s take on Bats was surrounded by a terrible Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a terrible Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman), a terrible Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone) and just a terrible movie. If we’re being honest, though, his hero was way too earnest – like Doug Ross dressing up in the ER for Halloween – and he’d probably be a better Bruce Wayne now than he was back then. It’s OK, though; his career turned out just fine.
6. Val Kilmer
He should really be given an “incomplete” grade after only one movie: 1995’s “Batman Forever,” a colorful romp that went completely away from Burton’s darker vibe but might as well be “Citizen Kane” compared with Clooney’s Batflick. Kilmer totally had the chin for the Batman cowl (though he never got the voice quite right), and he wore the Wayne tux well. Then again, anyone would have looked serviceable around Jim Carrey’s over-the-top Riddler and Tommy Lee Jones’ bonkers Two-Face.
5. Adam West
Who cares if it’s more than 50 years old? The 1966 “Batman: The Movie” is
still a hoot to watch and gave TV’s resident camptastic Caped Crusader a chance to hit the cinema with his boy wonder Burt Ward and most every villain in their rogues’ gallery. Also, who else would be so cool dealing with almost getting eaten by a shark (thanks, shark repellent Bat-spray!) and taking the time to avoid blowing up a bunch of cute ducks while trying to dispose of a bomb? Now THAT, kids, is heroism.
4. Christian Bale
Two things work in his favor. One, the dude’s a great actor – an Oscar winner, even. But also, Bale’s the only guy to
(thus far) get a whole character arc for his Batman in Christopher Nolan’s trilogy: “Batman Begins” (2005), “The Dark Knight” (2008) and “The Dark Knight Rises” (2012). His journey from novice vigilante to Gotham “villain” and back to hero is an epic one, though Bale does his strongest work overall in “Begins.” (”Dark Knight” is all about the late Heath Ledger’s iconic Joker, and the cluttered “Rises” brings everyone down with multiple villains and a jumbled plot to destroy Gotham.)
3. Ben Affleck
The Batfleck over Bale? What?! Maybe a controversial choice for some, considering his role lasted only three DC universe movies: “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” (2016), “Suicide Squad” (2016) and “Justice League” (2017). However, Affleck did well inhabiting a guy who has been fighting crime for a long time, is jaded by the deaths and destruction in his life but still finds hope and humanity when surrounded by his super-friends. His run was fleeting, though what worked with Affleck more than anything was the sense that Batman and Bruce are the same guy: In one “BvS” scene, he rips off his cowl and just goes to work feverishly in the Batcave without bothering to change into, say, a smoking jacket or high-end PJs.
2. Will Arnett
Who needs a Bat-bod when the voice is macho perfection? Arnett’s animated Lego Batman made appearances in 2014’s “The Lego Movie” and its 2019 sequel, but he rocked truly hard in “The Lego Batman Movie” (2017). It’s the rare Batman movie that understands at his flawed core, he’s a complicated loner and a hot mess who often can’t get out of his own way long enough for the greater good. Arnett’s growly dude-bro vocals do wonders in first masking but later revealing the warmhearted guy underneath yearning for a family.
1. Michael Keaton
Burton’s “Batman” and “Batman Returns” three years later not only did wonders for the character in pop culture, but they also gave the generation who grew up on those movies their Dark Knight. Keaton looked extraordinarily cool tooling around in his Batmobile and tackling (but never getting overshadowed by) Jack Nicholson’s kooky Joker and Michelle Pfeiffer’s purr-fect Catwoman. And as Bruce Wayne, Keaton brought a hint of crazy to Batman’s alter ego, enough where you think, “Of course THIS GUY is going to dress up as a bat and go fight crime.”