USA TODAY International Edition
‘ Cyber flashing’: Tip of toxic sexual culture
Banning unsolicited images just a start
If you’ve waded into the jungle of online dating, chances are you’ve been exposed to a graphic image that you never wanted to see — especially if you’re a young woman.
Over half of women ages 18- 29 have received an explicit image they never asked for, according to a 2017 Pew Research Center study. Among all women, 32% have, while 30% of men have.
It’s so widespread a problem that one internet user, Kelsey Bressler, working with a friend, developed a filter that would allow women to not see explicit images sent to their messages. Bressler’s actions, she wrote in Huffington Post, came after she received a photo on her phone of a man’s penis and the message, “Why don’t you talk to me?”
Now lawmakers are starting to consider making “cyber flashing,” as it’s dubbed, a crime:
❚ In January, California state Sen. Ling Ling Chang, a Republican, introduced legislation that would make it illegal to send unsolicited nude images, punishable by a fine.
❚ Just last year, Texas became one of the first states to ban such behavior, instituting fines up to $ 500.
❚ In 2018, as New York female subway passengers dealt with unwanted sexual images sent via AirDrop to their phones, several city council members introduced legislation to discourage the practice, recommending up to a year in jail, a $ 1,000 fine or both.
As Joseph Borelli, a Republican council member and a co- sponsor of the legislation, told The New York Times, “Technology has made it significantly easier to be a creep.”
# MeToo is failing
The fact that this is a real enough problem to warrant lawmaker attention shows how little # MeToo has made inroads in our culture.
Similarly, the new focus on consent in recent years seems to be a band- aid, not a comprehensive solution. There are contracts for college students to sign to indicate consent to sexual activity, and there are even apps for people to sign a consent contract before sex.
While a renewed attention to consent is welcome, it’s also just the most basic human decency when it comes to sexual encounters and sharing explicit images. Consider resigned Rep. Katie Hill’s comments in The Times regarding the sexual images of her that circulated online: “I was overwhelmed by everything — by how many people had seen my naked body, by the comments, the articles, the millions of opinions, the texts, the calls. I would start shaking, crying, throwing up.”
While the California Democrat’s case raises interesting questions about transparency, and voters’ rights to know about the character of their lawmaker, shouldn’t we be able to agree that such measures should be accomplished without exposing private images to the whole internet?
Ultimately, the problem in our culture right now seems to be rooted in a me- first mindset of so many — an attitude that prioritizes personal sexual gratification over honoring and respecting the human dignity of others, including would- be sexual partners.
Researchers in a July article for the Journal of Sex Research found that “men who reported having sent unsolicited ( penis pictures) demonstrated higher levels of narcissism and endorsed greater ambivalent and hostile sexism than their nonsending counterparts.”
In other words: Pair focus on self with little respect for women, and you’ve got the formula for the kind of jerk who think it’s a swell idea to send explicit images without consent.
The modern sexual revolution is generally depicted as a welcome liberation, the beginning of a new era of pleasure. But is that interpretation correct?
Reconsider ‘ Little Women’
Watching “Little Women” — the hit Oscar- nominated movie from brilliant director Greta Gerwig — it is easy to be wistful for an era where men sought to improve themselves to win women’s hearts, and where a tender gesture of love was secretly holding onto a lady’s glove, not sending her a graphic sexual image. Sure, I wouldn’t like the dauntingly limited career prospects of the “Little Women” heroines, but are we so confident their romantic lives were more stifling than ours?
Undergirding our modern sexual mores is the notion that sexual intimacy can be achieved, and achieved without pain to either partner, without actual personal intimacy — the kind that can only be acquired by communication and companionship over a period of time, not a few hours at a bar. In fact, that same Journal of Sex Research article found that “the most frequently reported motivational category for sending genital images was a transactional mindset ( i. e., motivated by hopes of receiving images in return), while the most commonly desired reaction from recipients was that of sexual excitement.” Sending these pictures may just be a way to cut short the conversation and go straight to the sexual activity.
Curbing the sending of inappropriate sexual images to strangers is a good first step. But when it comes to healing the toxic, often selfish norms of our sexual culture, much more is needed. Katrina Trinko, a member of USA TODAY's Board of Contributors, is editor- in- chief of The Daily Signal. The views expressed here are solely her own. WANT TO COMMENT? Have Your Say at letters@ usatoday. com, @ usatodayopinion on Twitter and facebook. com/ usatodayopinion. Comments are edited for length and clarity. Content submitted to USA TODAY may appear in print, digital or other forms. For letters, include name, address and phone number. Letters may be mailed to 7950 Jones Branch Drive, McLean, VA, 22108.