USA TODAY International Edition
Fetishization isn’t flattery for Asian women
Karina Chan never knew what to expect when it came to dating. Having come from an Asian American bubble in the Bay Area, she never understood how frightening a prospective, non- Asian date could be – until she began seeing a man about three years ago.
Upon first impression, he was her dream guy: affable, sharp, intelligent. He possessed a natural charm that lured her in. So when he expressed romantic interest, she was overjoyed.
But excitement dissipated into confusion and concern when he insisted she speak to him in a different language during sex because he “was kind of into that.”
At the moment, all she could do was laugh. The demand sounded ridiculous; she didn’t even know any “sexy” words in Chinese. But looking back at the encounter, Chan realized it was more than just “weird.” It was humiliating, demeaning and a time she felt dehumanized by someone who seemingly cared about her.
“I had never felt so much like I was just a body before, a literal bag of water and cellular matter,” Chan, now 23, says. “He just wanted to have sex with an exotic woman that would make sexy noises he didn’t understand.”
For centuries, Asian American women have faced a lose- lose situation when it comes to desirability: They’re either labeled as undesirable according to Eurocentric beauty standards or gaslit into believing that fetishization is flattery. But just as with racial violence and discrimination, the sexualization of Asian women can lead to dangerous – even deadly – consequences.
“The idea that Asian women are desirable and exotic and passive isn’t just an innocent stereotype or a desirable trait to envy,” says Nancy Wang Yuen, a sociologist and author of “Reel Inequality.”“The shadowed side of that is they then become targets of hate, sexual violence and physical violence when they aren’t perceived as fully human and deserving of rights to be safe.”
‘ Fetishization isn’t appreciation’
With the rising popularity of Asian pop culture in America ( as seen by critical praise for Pixar’s “Turning Red” and Netflix’s “Squid Game”), people seem more open- minded and appreciative. But not everyone has good intentions.
“In my experience, the people who give these comments ( fixated on race) aren’t actually interested in ( me),” Chan says. “They just want to flirt with an Asian woman. It’s the feeling that you’re being treated like a body to be conquered that makes this kind of attention so repulsive.”
What’s so complex about fetishization is it often is mistaken for appreciation or attraction. But the fundamental difference is that fetishization is objectification. It’s an oversimplification. It’s a tactic to portray Asian women as objects and strip them of individuality, sociologists say.
“Appreciation for a culture should not mean you assume that someone fits into your ideas of that culture or that someone will share your passion for the culture because they’re that race,” Yuen says.
Asian fetishization comes in many forms. It can manifest as generalized beliefs that Asian women are experts in anime simply due to their appearance. Or it may involve hypersexualized stereotypes about their anatomy.
“These ‘ positive’ stereotypes of Asian women as exotic and beautiful and different is an institutional issue and contributes to the idea that there are distinct, racial categories who deserve different kinds of treatment,” says Robin Zheng, a lecturer in political philosophy at the University of Glasglow. However, studies have found little correlation between “race” and physical variations within the human species.
“If people go around saying they have a preference for Asians but not other races, the logic suggests there’s something different about Asians. And unfortunately, that kind of mind- set is what leads to them being viewed as inferior.”
‘ Lotus Blossom’ vs. ‘ Dragon Lady’: The history of commodifying Asian women
Experts say the dehumanization of Asian women dates back centuries, rooted in the violence of white colonialism. Asian women were historically commodified as either the “Dragon Lady,” who is sexy, exotic and dominant or the “Lotus Blossom,” who is contrastingly domesticated, docile and sexually subservient to white men.
Though the stereotypes are contradictory, what they share is “the theme of hypersexualization, where Asian women are sexualized to fit into a maledriven fantasy,” Yuen says. These tropes still exist, as shown by such popular films as “Madame Butterfly” ( 1995), “Austin Powers in Goldmember” ( 2002) and “Kill Bill: Vol. 1” ( 2003).
“The idea of desirability quickly became the idea of disease and temptation, and the exoticization was still a form of ‘ othering’ or this idea that Asian
women were not fully ( integrable), but rather some form of ‘ other’ that couldn’t possibly live in the same realm as white folks,” Yuen says.
‘ Racialized slut shaming’: What happens when Asian women date
As a result of these stereotypes, Asian women have long endured harassment for dating outside of their race – specifically white men – and have been ridiculed as “self- hating” or “whitewashed” Asians. Actress Constance Wu (“Crazy Rich Asians”) opened up about the anger she received from Asian men for dating a white man in 2018. Similarly, Lana Condor (“To All the Boys I’ve Ever Loved”) responded to backlash that her character, Lara Jean, didn’t have an Asian love interest.
“There are times when people online will say, ‘ Of course, she’s with a white guy.’ Oh, so Asian people can only love Asian people? I can only be with my race?” Condor said in a 2018 interview with The Cut.
Policing whom Asian women should and shouldn’t date is yet another example of the intersection of racism and misogyny, in what experts call “racialized slut shaming.”
“When Asian women date outside their race, the assumption from some Asian men is, ‘ you should be dating me, not these others.’ But where does this sense of entitlement come from?” says Sung Yeon Choimorrow, executive director of the nonprofit National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum.
These attitudes often stem from racism and a misguided standard of masculinity: While Asian women are often hypersexualized, Asian men face the opposite stereotype of being more feminine, unattractive, not sexual and therefore “undesirable.”
“Because there’s so much emphasis on white men and Asian women, Asian men can sometimes feel like they’re at the bottom of the hierarchy when it comes to standard, conventional views of sexual appeal,” Zheng explains.
However, Choimorrow says it’s not only burdensome but also misogynistic that Asian women are expected to provide comfort and reassurance.
“We perpetuate this culture of prioritizing men and how women need to be supportive, but we’re not responsible for that. Asian women are not the ones emasculating Asian men … So why is it always the burden of women to accommodate men?”
‘ We need to start seeing Asian women as subjects, not objects.’
Experts in Asian media representation say the stereotypes surrounding Asian Americans are intentionally complicated. Assumptions that all Asian women are sexual or that all Asian Americans are math geniuses appear flattering enough to exempt them from racism. However, it reduces diverse Asian American and Pacific Islander communities to a monolith.
For instance, when all Asian women are stereotyped as either obedient or dominant, it implies they can’t be good leaders. A recent USA TODAY analysis gathered from 88 companies found that only 1 in every 96 Asian men and 1 in every 124 Asian women hold a top job – a stark contrast from the 1 in every 45 white men and 1 in every 60 white women who are executives.
And this not only undercuts Asian Americans in their careers, but also in romantic relationships and Hollywood representation. Zheng says these “degrading” generalizations lead to the justification of sexual assault and violence in the minds of the person with this fetish, as shown by the Atlanta spa shootings in 2021.
“Even prior to the pandemic, Asian women were particularly vulnerable to various kinds of sexual violence. As women, they’ve been viewed as ‘ fair game’ for men to prey on, but also the fact that they’re Asian leads to views of them being more passive and docile, making them more vulnerable as victims,” Zheng says.
Though it may seem inconsequential compared with acts of physical violence, experts say Asian American and Pacific Islander hate and racism cannot be solved without first addressing implicit, prejudiced attitudes toward Asian women.
“Ultimately, we need to dismantle the entire system of racial taxonomy, which requires transforming basic social institutions like the way law enforcement and education works,” Zheng says. But in addition to these changes, “a more symbolic thing needs to be done, and that is rectifying the way Asian women are represented in the media, in Hollywood, in any kind of stories we tell.”
As an expert in race and racism in Hollywood, Yuen nods to movies such as “Turning Red” and “Everything, Everywhere All at Once,” which avoid crude, limiting stereotypes and display the complexity of Asian Americans.
“We need more and more Asian women, creators, storytellers to be empowered to present alternative, counter- stereotypical narratives that show the full humanity of Asians,” Yuen says. “We need to start seeing Asian women as subjects, not objects.”