USA TODAY International Edition
Shake it off: Chiefs’ 2023 problem isn’t Taylor Swift
It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault that Kansas City’s offensive linemen can’t block.
It’s not her fault that quarterback Patrick Mahomes is constantly running for his life. It’s not her fault that Mahomes is increasingly desperate and reckless. She has no control over the fact that he’s throwing into double and triple coverage. Her concerts create entire economies but she doesn’t control
Mahomes’ brain. Yet.
It’s not her fault that something looks off with Mahomes. That he’s always a second or two behind. “Mahomes is the magician,” said Raiders defensive back Jack Jones, who is definitely not Taylor Swift. “You stop the magician, you stop the act.”
The magician is gone ( for now) and that has nothing to do with Taylor Swift.
“Watched ( Kansas City offense) & could have been worst overall game by ( the offense) in Mahomes era,” posted Hall of Famer Kurt Warner, who is also not Taylor Swift, on X. “( Raiders defense) who out- coached and out- played KC… KC was bad everywhere. ( Mahomes) missed reads & throws, concepts were confusing, got manhandled up front…”
It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault that Andy Reid, a future Hall of Famer, is getting outcoached almost every game now. It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault that the Raiders looked nimble and prepared and Reid’s team didn’t. It’s not her fault that Maxx Crosby is unblockable and ransacked Kansas City. Crosby may not create entire economies but he does create misery for Kansas City’s offense.
It’s not her fault that teams have adjusted to Reid’s offense. It’s damn sure not her fault that no team, not even the lowly ones, no longer fear Kansas City. It has nothing to do with Taylor Swift that teams see this version of Kansas City as an aging boxer no longer in his prime.
It’s also not Taylor Swift’s fault that former offensive coordinator Eric Bieniemy is coaching in Washington. It’s not her fault that people are seeing how valuable he was. You can see it for yourself. It’s not her fault you’re blind if you can’t.
It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault that what Bieniemy did was emphasize taking care of the small details. Like, you know, lining up onside. Taylor Swift doesn’t line up offsides. Because she’s not on
the field. Yet.
Taylor Swift doesn’t run routes, either. Have you seen the Kansas City receivers? It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault they get little separation or drop passes. Yes, Rashee Rice is good, but he’s not a No. 1 receiver. On most teams, he’s a No. 2, at best, and there he is, not Taylor Swift, being put on the field as Kansas City’s best wideout.
This may sound harsh but it’s true. As true as Taylor Swift’s talent.
It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault that wide receiver Tyreek Hill, once in Kansas City, and the most dangerous receiving weapon in football, is now in Miami. It’s not her fault they haven’t even come close to replacing him.
It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault that tight end Travis Kelce isn’t the same player. I know. Sensitive subject. Moving on.
It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault that we get this remarkable quote from interim Raiders coach Antonio Pierce, who is putting galaxies of luminosity into the Raiders, when asked if owner Mark Davis should hire him full time: “My resume is on the grass. … And hopefully Mark Davis sees improvement and growth within our team. He sees the
style and play that he wants from the Raiders. He sees a fan base that’s behind us. He sees a building that loves coming to work and loves being here. And people that’s covering the team, enjoying covering the team. And at the end of the day, we got to win. And right now, my record, our record is 4- 3.”
It’s such a beautiful quote it should be a Swift song.
So when you see an increasing number of people, and I mean a lot of them, particularly right- wing trolls, blaming Swift, everyone should remember all this. The hatred and narratives about her are exploding and there needs to be pushback against it because it’s becoming an entire ecosystem of Swift football misinformation.
Like this from right- wing goon Charlie Kirk, who posted this week to his millions of social media followers:
“The Chiefs are 3- 5 since Kelce and Swift reportedly began dating. Kelce has caught only one touchdown during that span. Turmoil and infighting plague the Chief ’s normally united sideline. Yoko Swifto is real.”
Get it? Yoko Swifto? Hilarious. So funny. And unfortunately there is a lot more where that came from.
It’s not Taylor Swift’s fault Kirk and other men hate a powerful woman.
You don’t blame a woman who doesn’t play in the NFL for a team full of men not fulfilling their potential.
There’s also a bigger play here with the Swift hatred and the team. Swift is potentially a huge political force in the upcoming presidential election. The belief of people like Kirk is if you dent her popularity by any possible means, in this case saying she’s the reason for the woes of a popular and champion team in the most popular sport in the nation, you can potentially dampen her political strength.
But, again, overall it’s not Taylor Swift’s fault that Kansas City is falling apart.
It’s all on the team.