How you can enjoy gift-giving without going overboard Lisa Kiplinger Marie Kondo
The holidays can be the epitome of the saying “too much of a good thing.” From food and drink to shopping and spending, it all adds up.
If you’re rushing too much, buying too much and drowning under a pile of presents, worldfamous organizational expert
has some tips on how to regain your sanity and focus on what’s really important.
Ideas from the author of the decluttering cult classics
and
Spark Joy The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up
could even help you stick to your budget. She shares her wisdom by email with the help of a Japanese interpreter.
Q:HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT GIVING AND RECEIVING GIFTS? DOES IT STRESS YOU OUT?
A:I enjoy very much giving gifts. That is because when I give a present to someone who is truly important me, I try to choose not only something that would spark joy in the person who receives the gift but also something that would spark joy in myself if I am the person who receives the gift. Also, as I believe that not only presents themselves but an act of giving and receiving a gift itself sparks joy, I don’t feel stressed about it.
Q:MANY PEOPLE ACTUALLY GO INTO DEBT BUYING GIFTS. AS A DEVOTED MINIMALIST, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
A:Presents spark joy. If people go overboard and feel burdened, however, that would be a tremendous waste. I would advise those people to try tidying. By tidying up, they will reach a clear understanding of their own values — what is truly important to them and what kinds of items they would treasure.
Regarding how to spend money, they will even get into the habit of asking themselves,“Will this spark my joy?” I sincerely hope that as many people as possible will start cherishing what is truly important to them by tidying up.
Q:HOW CAN PARENTS KEEP HAPPY HOLIDAY GIFT-GIVING TRADITIONS ALIVE FOR THEIR CHILDREN WITHOUT GOING OVERBOARD AND CLUTTERING UP THEIR HOMES?
A:Parents should set standards on choosing gifts. They should ask themselves over and over such questions as, “Will this gift spark joy in my child?” and “Will they be able to take care of the present properly?” After contemplating answers, parents should give their child only what they feel happy about.
Also, parents should take their time explaining to their child (that all the care they took choosing the particular gift they gave, instead of ) how many presents they would buy, is an indicator for their love to their child.
By so doing, I believe parents will be able to avoid going overboard and cluttering up their homes.
Q:YOU HAVE SAID THAT PEOPLE SHOULD FEEL FREE TO LET GO OF GIFTS THEY’VE RECEIVED WITHOUT GUILT. SHOULD THEY ALSO NOT FEEL GUILTY IF THEY RECEIVE A GIFT BUT DON’T HAVE ONE TO GIVE IN RETURN? MANY PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY ABSOLUTELY MUST RECIPROCATE, DO YOU?
A:First off, “feeling free to let go of ” presents when you part with them is a little different from my idea.
You should first try coming up with ways to make use of gifts instead of parting with them. And then, as a last resort, you let go of presents “to take care of what is left.”
Regarding gifts you receive, I think you should give a gift in return.
In Japan, there is a custom like Oseibo in which people send a gift to those whom they feel thankful for at a different time of the year. I think it is a very natural gesture to give a gift in return.
Q:WHEN IT COMES TO GIFTS, WHAT HAS SPARKED JOY IN YOUR LIFE?
A:Many gifts have brought joy to my life. Particularly, since my child was born, I have had numerous opportunities where I received gifts for my child. Nowadays I feel more sparking joy and happiness in receiving gifts for my child than for myself.