GOD IS WAITING TO SLAP HIS BUTT
When you survive a near-fatal accident like Tracy Morgan did in 2014, you tend to have a sharper view of the afterlife.
He certainly has a clear view of heaven, one of many unconventional and frankly hilarious perspectives he’s willing to share as he returns to film in the R-rated comedy Fist Fight (in theaters Friday).
“When I get to heaven, God is going to slap me on the ( bottom) and say ‘ Good job! Your parents and grandmom are back there waiting for you. Richard Pryor asked for you and Jackie Gleason is looking for you,’ ” Morgan says. “And it’s like ‘John Lennon, come here, I wanna ask you something!’ That’s how I envision it. ‘George Carlin, is that you? Come here for a minute. Tell Jesus to stop playing that music, turn it down!’ ” ON HIS POOLSIDE INTERVIEW ATTIRE The diamond handpiece that spells out “Morgan”: “This is all blue diamonds; I had this made in Manhattan ... LL Cool J had one that said ‘ Cool J.’ I am from that generation, the real hip-hop generation. So I got one.”
The gold Jesus necklace: “He’s the King. I’m down with him and I represent him. I have a little piece I wear most of the time that says ‘Number One Dad.’ ”
The studded Christian Louboutin red-bottom athletic shoes are from Paris: “I’m not into the spikes. But I like the colors. I coordinated. I’m just dressing and being me. I have a simple sweatsuit and sneakers. I’m from Brooklyn. I have always been good with clothes.”
ON THE INSPIRATION FOR HIS GRUFF COACH IN ‘FIST FIGHT’
“Coach Ben Wright was my football coach and also a gym coach. He took it serious. He didn’t want no excuses. It was ‘Hit the track! I don’t care if your uncle fixed my transmission. Hit the track! I don’t care if your aunt braided my daughter’s hair last night. Hit the track!’ ... He had a chipped tooth. I was ready to go there, I am a Method actor.” ON HIS HIGH-SCHOOL PRANKS “I gave this guy on my football team Ex-Lax and he thought it was chocolate. And he ate it. And he pooped himself in eighth period. I was there. ... He was a big lineman. One time, I got my leg hurt because he missed a block on purpose. It was revenge. Wouldn’t you?”
“We had the greatest high school years of anyone in the world. Imagine going to high school with Tracy Morgan.”
ON GETTING OLDER
“I don’t jump out of bed in the morning. I take my time. I’m not one of those new cars where you press start and it starts. I’m one of those old Buicks. You have to turn it over, let that thing run for a half-hour and then it drives. I gotta get warmed up.”