Networks, stop breaking ‘CHiPs’ off the old TV block
But if you must, here are some to consider
Hollywood studios live up to their liberal stereotype in at least one respect: They love to recycle.
On the heels of a criminally halfhearted remake of CHiPs, how else to explain revisiting Baywatch flotsam, however pretty, when it first washed up on TV screens in the ’90s? From what I’ve seen of the widely panned remake, the Dwayne Johnson-Zac Efron abs scam sounds dumber than the original, which, in an odd way, must be some kind of achievement.
At least when you recycle plastic, you get a water bottle.
The financial benefits of remakes are understandable: Familiarity with — and fondness for — the originals can draw the attention of viewers bombarded with so many entertainment choices. But at some level, jamming through too many lame copies just because a studio owns the rights stifles new ideas.
Some TV-to-film reboots work by honoring the original, even if they don’t tell the same story.
Star Trek gained new life in theaters. Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible improved when the films embraced the TV show’s team model, with operatives working as interlocking puzzle pieces. ( Wonder Woman doesn’t count here, since the well-received blockbuster traces its roots more to comic books than the cheesy ’70s series. And they were all cheesy in the ’70s.) Others, including the 21 Jump
Street franchise, succeeded by going against the grain, turning TV melodrama into big-screen slapstick.
That’s the big problem with Baywatch (which an earned a disappointing $51.1 million at the U.S. box office), CHiPs ($18.6 million) and others like them: They try to out-silly shows that, even at their most charming, were a bit ridiculous.
How do you parody Baywatch, a series with Speedo-thin plots and characters? Best answer: Don’t.
That said, if you can’t beat ’em, copy ’ em. So, working under the creative limbo principle – How low can you go? – we’ve scoured the TV graveyard, digging up old chestnuts that could be warmed over and re-served on the big screen – with a tweak or two: Chachi Loves Chachi — Scott Baio returns to his career-defining role in this spinoff of a weak spinoff ( Joanie Loves Chachi) of ’70s sitcom hit Happy Days. One crazy plot concept: Chachi goes into politics. #MakeAmericaWaWaWaAgain The Mystery of Al Capone’s Vaults — Geraldo Rivera is back, but this time the vault isn’t empty: Rivera’s former Fox News buddy, Bill O’Reilly, is inside doing a podcast. Gilligan’s Island: Nothing Atoll — Climate change claims the castaways’ uncharted — make that underwater — desert isle. If only the Professor could have perfected that coconut temperature regulator. Glug, glug, glug, Skip-perrr!!! On the other hand, if Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron and their Baywatch buddies showed up .... Joe Billionaire — Joe Millionaire, whose lack of riches was the twist in a brief Fox dating show phenomenon, has moved up in the world of income inequality: He’s now a fake billionaire! Potential spouses try to dig up his tax returns. Personimal — A culturally aware update of Manimal, an ’80s series memorable only for its title, in which a doctor solves crimes by shape-shifting into various animals. The new version faces contemporary challenges: Many species featured in the original are now considered endangered, and Marvel’s Wolverine and Wolfsbane are always ganging up on our hero.