Jonathan Turley
A guide to Italian for Scaramucci-watchers
Like Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House communications director, I come from a large Italian family. My maternal grandparents were from the same village in Sicily (my name is from the Irish side of my father). When I first took my wife, Leslie, to meet my family in Chicago, she heard my sister Angela tell her kids to “say goodbye to your grandmother,” since they would never see her again. Leslie, near tears, asked me to do something.
At first I was confused but then realized she was referring to the fight. I explained that by evening they would be at the kitchen table having coffee. They were.
Italians do speak to each other in ways that can shock people. When my Irish family says that you are dead to them, they mean it. They will next see you at your funeral. When Italians say it, it could last until … dinner.
That does not mean there are no red lines. When one of my sisters was going out with a guy Mom opposed, the two had a cathartic scream session. But when Jennifer moved toward the door, my mother met her with a broom and said, “I gave you life and I can take it away.” Jennifer turned around and went upstairs. My mother collapsed on the couch.
These comments reflect depths of both love and vulnerability among Italian family members. The problem is the same comment can make you look like an unchained lunatic if you say it in a subway … or to a reporter.
In short, Scaramucci forgot a few unwritten rules for Italian venting when he went on a profane tirade to The New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza. First, years of conditioning prepare us to understand that being told your mom will cut off your hand if you take another cookie means simply that you have had enough. So when Scaramucci said he wanted to “kill” staffers, it sent staffers to the news media saying that they felt unsafe. Of course it did. Telling someone you will cut off their hand if they take another roll at a restaurant is taken not as maternal but homicidal.
Second, we never do this in public, except in controlled environments such as weddings, where there are contextual warnings like Italian bunting and guys named Dominick and Tony. Tell non-Italian strangers that your co-worker likes to engage in self-fellatio and they will try to determine whether that is physically possible and legally permissible. They don’t get it.
Third, Italian venting may seem indiscriminate, but it is actually controlled explosions by experts bred for such displays. This is why the best firework companies are Italian. Scaramucci might have thought Lizza was a fellow paisan. But Lizza is not
paisan, he is press. So that was an uncontrolled explosion.
There is a difference. This is why NFL players do not tackle people on the street. They know when a sack is appropriate and when it is a felony. So don’t blame Scaramucci on us. To paraphrase the late senator Lloyd Bentsen, D-Texas, I know Italian venting. Italian venting is a friend of mine. This is not Italian venting.