Spicer’s next step should be ‘DWTS’
After his tough job at the White House, he could use some fun and flair
Sean Spicer showed plenty of fancy footwork answering questions as White House press secretary.
Now that he’s departing the gig, reports are swirling that Spicer is being courted to move to his logical next step: celebrity contestant on Dancing With the Stars.
Politico has reported that executives from the ABC show have expressed interest in having Spicer cha-cha-cha into the next season.
DWTS spokeswoman Ashley Kline declined to discuss the tantalizing possibility. “We’ll announce our Season 25 cast closer to our premiere date, Sept. 18,” she told USA TODAY.
Fans have campaigned for Spicer’s involvement on Twitter. The day Spicer announced his resignation, Zach Braff tweeted, “Can’t wait to see Sean Spicer waltz on Dancing With the Stars.” He was so not joking.
Here are five reasons why Spicer should vie for the coveted mirror ball trophy this season. 1 THIS DUDE NEEDS A SPRAY TAN AND SEQUINS Spicer held a tough job at the White House and, frankly, it shows. He’d get an instant bounce in his step and boost in his appearance just stepping into
DWTS. Spray tans are a must for all performers, sure to leave the pale Spicer with a glow even former boss President Trump would envy. And Trump has seen the in- side of a few tanning booths in his day.
Then get Spicer out of those illfitting suits and into a dance costume that shows a little chest and a lot more sequins. Maybe some product in the hair.
It’s going to make Cinderella look like amateur hour.
2 HE’S READY TO TRADE THAT WOODEN PODIUM FOR A REAL DANCE PARTNER Spicer has been doing that lonely, unappreciated tango with his press briefing podium for so long, it’s become a national joke parodied by Melissa McCarthy on Sat
urday Night Live. He needs to stop clutching that dead wood and gracefully hold a human dance partner, to swap heated reporter questions about Russia for dancing with, well, perhaps USSR-born Karina Smirnoff or Ukrainian Oksana Platero.
3 YOU KNOW HE’D CONTEST UNFAIR LOW SCORES DWTS contestants generally learn the hard way not to argue dance scores with the judges, especially British taskmaster Len Goodman. They lose that fight quickly. But should his scores falter, Spicer will treat those judges like members of the fake media until they give him the 10s he deserves.
You can be sure that crowd size estimates will be maxed every time he steps into the auditorium, even for rehearsal. And Spicer will definitely get the loudest applause.
4 HIS NAME IS MADE FOR DANCE COMPETITION Come on, he’s Sean Spicer. The name should come with a free spray tan.
He’s going to put some Spicey Spice in his Samba. He’s going to Spice up his quickstep. He’ll hold back the Special Spice from his graceful waltz. This was meant to be.
5 THE DANCING SPOTLIGHT COULD WIN BACK THAT PRESIDENTIAL LOVE It was sad to feel the growing Spicer chill from a tough boss like President Trump.
But DWTS could renew that love, especially as Trump tunes in to find Spicer grinding it out in his new dance role — succeeding even better than Energy Secretary Rick Perry, who was Season 23’s buffoon before fans unceremoniously booted him off in the second week.
If Spicer could pull out some moves, some key wins, or, let’s dream, even get a shot at that mirror ball trophy, surely the new dance fan in chief would be very impressed.
Sean, take the step and make celebrity ballroom dancing great again.