Here’s how you should really be dressing for work
Why do people care so much about how others look? I have had more people ask me about my hair and beard in the last six months than anything else in my 40-plus years of existence.
To be fair, I have never had hair longer than a few inches and no more of a beard than an occasional 5 o’clock shadow. I now look like a 1970s throwback cross between Kenny Loggins, Charles Manson and Grizzly Adams.
Everyone wants to know why. I suspect the questions are part curiosity (maybe 2%) and part insult (probably 98%).
How we look is often more important to people than what we say, how we act, or even who we truly are. Whether we like it or not, admit it or not, our brains make ultrafast snap judgments about people. We compare someone new — or something new about someone — to archetypes in the mind. Our brains are stereotype addicts, automatically categorizing people into groups and then making assumptions based on group characteristics. Your voice, your clothes and even your hair and beard, are all used to judge you well before your true character comes out.
Right about now I suspect you are thinking, “That sucks.” As a person who tries his best not to pre-judge, I agree. Prejudices, biases and some of the worst things about humanity come from this quirk of the brain. But as a brain scientist and student of evolutionary science, I understand that snap judgments are a really important mental feature. If we couldn’t make quick judgments, our ancestors would have died off long ago. The difference between a stick and a snake, for example, could be the difference between life or death.
For better or worse, this evolutionary feature has led us to our modern-day superficiality. We judge books by their covers, and there isn’t a whole lot that can be done to change the underlying instinct. However, we can reshape our own covers.
For what it is worth, I personally think the goal should always be to match the person on the inside to the person on the outside. There is nothing worse than buying a book only to find out that it is something else entirely. Well, there are a few things worse, such as having that happen in marriage, or in the workplace with employees.
People love to talk about the importance of dressing for work, but what should that really mean? My advice is to keep it simple: Dress for who you are, what you want to become and how you think of yourself. If you are a brilliant but disheveled scientist, then flaunt it in traditional khakis and a wrinkled buttondown. A meticulous accountant? How about a no-details-left-undone Brooks Brothers suit. Entrepreneurs, have no fear or shame in your hoodies and kicks. Kids out of school, it’s OK to look like a kid out of school. Show some respect by adhering to your company’s dress code, but pay equal respect to yourself.
I can already hear the critics, and yes, in the short run, you may be disadvantaged by not blending in. But that disappears quickly, as most astute execs will eventually see through your appearance. In the long run, your outside will represent the most important thing: who you are on the inside.
Oh, I almost forgot my ’70s hair and beard. The hair started because my barbershop burned down. My son Lincoln and I had been going there for years, and I thought waiting for the business to rebuild would be a great way to teach Lincoln about loyalty. The beard happened after a vacation, simply because my wife liked it.
Having nothing at the time to do with my hair, I left my CEO position a few years back with the goal of shifting to help other CEOs in their businesses.
On a recent occasion, I was working with a friend and entrepreneur on one of the most difficult decisions: the need to step aside. The board had asked him to consider it, so he asked for my advice. The CEO turned to me and said, “That advice coming from you makes me feel far more confident about my decision.” My response was, “Of course, because I am a friend.”
He said, “No, because with that hair and beard you must be genuine, as there is no chance in hell you are looking to take my place — no one would hire you as a CEO looking like that!”