Flustered by boss? Meet privately before going to HR

‘Workflex’ options could be parental leave answer

Johnny C. Taylor Jr., a human-resources expert, is tackling your questions as part of a series for USA TODAY. Taylor is president and CEO of the Society for Human Resource Management, the world’s largest HR professional society.

Questions submitted by readers and Taylor’s answers have been edited for length and clarity.

Question: My boss has said things to me publicly that I feel should have been private. For example, he discussed my bonus in a team meeting. In another instance, he criticized my professional behavior in front of a group. How can I call him out on this behavior without jeopardizing my position? Do I involve HR? — Geena M.

Answer: Your boss doesn’t seem to believe in the adage “praise in public and criticize in private.”

Just because he’s not acting professionally doesn’t mean you should follow suit. While it might be tempting, don’t call him out.

The first step to resolving this issue is having a private face to face with your boss. Yes, I know it probably will be awkward. Managers who fail to show simple professional courtesies like respecting employees by addressing certain matters in private might be difficult to deal with one on one. But this step is necessary as you try to get him to correct his behavior.

Ask your boss for a private meeting. Then, briefly and respectfully describe your concern. Give specific examples.

Hopefully, this will resolve the issue and reinforce the need for him to show respect for you and your co-workers.

If this direct approach doesn’t work, then a confidential meeting with someone in your HR department would be the next step.

Q: My company offers 10 weeks of paid maternity leave and two weeks of paid paternity leave. This includes parents who are adopting. I’m soon to be a single, male adoptive parent, and HR has said I will only receive the two weeks of leave. This seems unfair. Should parental leave be genderblind? — Ethan L.

A: As a single dad myself, I know the joys of parenthood come with challenges. You’ll soon discover that having a child often requires some flexibility.

While I don’t know the specifics of your employer’s policy, I do know that, historically, maternity/paternity leave was based on traditional gender norms. The leave provided more time off for moms, who were viewed as the primary caregiver, and they recognized the need for recovery after birth.

But gender stereotypes around childrearing are evolving. More employers recognize that dads want the option to take off as much time as moms to care for a new child. Companies also are recognizing that America’s families are changing. Many provide leave for adop- tive and LGBTQ parents, too.

With today’s low unemployment rates and high competition for workers, some companies are increasing paid leave for both men and women to distinguish themselves from other employers. And with workers juggling responsibilities both at work and home, employers are offering more flexible work such as part-time roles, job-sharing and telecommuting.

Leave specific to pregnancy and birth can be limited to women. But if an employer offers more extensive parental leave, it must be offered in similar ways to women and men, according to law.

Have you talked with your employer about other ways to supplement your paternity leave? Start by checking with HR to see if there are “workflex” options in place.

Speak honestly about your work-life needs, and be prepared to suggest options that would benefit both your employer and you.

Depending upon the size of your employer and its needs, some flexibility might be possible.