USA TODAY US Edition

Purely Parker Posey

Offbeat bits from her memoir.

- Patrick Ryan

The “Queen of the Indies” is ready to take her literary throne.

For three decades, Parker Posey has been a versatile, free-spirited presence in the world of independen­t film, best known for her roles in cult hit “Dazed and Confused” (1993), “Party Girl” (1995) and “The House of Yes” (1997).

Now the actress, 49, is bringing her offbeat sensibilit­ies to the page with “You’re on an Airplane: A Self-Mythologiz­ing Memoir,” which is less autobiogra­phy than it is a rambling collection of showbiz anecdotes, philosophi­cal musings, favorite recipes and stories about her dog, Gracie, an unlikely paparazzi staple.

Here are the most surprising and silly revelation­s about Posey and her storied career:

1Parker Posey isn’t a stage name.

Posey, who has a twin brother, was born two months premature in 1968 in Baltimore to a chef mother and cardealer father. She was named after a family friend of her mom, who wanted to give her little girl “a strong name like Parker.” Despite her unusual last name, it’s totally real: “My mother says she thought the name Posey was silly, and it really is,” the actress writes. “I know, my name sounds made-up.”

2She almost starred in a slew of studio hits.

Aside from her villainous turn in illreceive­d superhero movie “Blade: Trinity” (2004), Posey has mostly stuck to low-budget movies and TV. But she apparently was in the running for highprofil­e projects such as “Girl, Interrupte­d” (1999) with Angelina Jolie, which she says she passed on because “Who cares about a bunch of depressed white girls in the sixties?” She was also up for “Meet the Parents” (2000) and the Sandra Bullock role in “Speed” (1994) but may have lost out after using a paper plate as a steering wheel in her audition.

Posey’s friend the late Nora Ephron cast her in the romantic comedy “Sleepless in Seattle” (1993) in a minor role as a gushing fan who knocks on the door of Tom Hanks’ grieving father character after hearing him on the radio. The part was cut from the film, although Ephron cast Posey in the Steve Martin vehicle “Mixed Nuts” (1994) shortly after.

3‘ Waiting for Guffman’ initially featured a NSFW hospital scene.

Turns out, shooting Christophe­r Guest’s largely improvised 1997 mockumenta­ry was just as fun as you’d imagine. Playing amateur actors with theatrical pipe dreams in a tiny Midwestern town, Catherine O’Hara and Fred Willard had the idea for their characters to audition with a coffee-commercial-inspired rendition of “Midnight at the Oasis,” and Posey came up with much of the choreograp­hy for (fake) musical “Red, White & Blaine.”

One improvised scene that landed on the cutting-room floor was when eccentric director Corky St. Clair (Guest) ended up in the ICU after failing to get funding for his original musical. “Come back to us, Corky, please, we need you,” his ragtag cast cried as they surrounded his hospital bed. In between takes, Guest asked for a banana, which he put under his sheets in a suggestive manner.

4She actually got braces for ‘Best in Show.’

Posey reunited with Guest and much of the “Guffman” cast for dog-show mockumenta­ry “Best in Show” (2000), which featured similar amounts of offthe-wall improvisat­ion. Posey costarred with Michael Hitchcock as a lawyer couple in therapy after traumatizi­ng their prized Weimaraner, Beatrice, when the dog caught them having sex. Guest suggested both actors wear retainers with braces attached, but Posey opted for the real thing so she would not have a lisp.

5Louis CK, Woody Allen were fruitful collaborat­ors.

Two chapters are dedicated to Posey’s working experience­s with CK and Allen, although neither passage lingers on the sexual misconduct allegation­s lodged against both men. Posey describes at length her close friendship with CK that led to her being cast in his FX comedy “Louie,” playing a cancerstri­cken bookstore clerk in the show’s third season. “No one had ever written a part like this for me,” she marvels. “It was the kind of character I thought I’d be playing my whole career.”

Signing on to “Irrational Man” (2015) – her first of two Allen films, along with “Cafe Society” (2016) – Posey read news articles about his adopted daughter Dylan Farrow’s sexual assault allegation­s, which have dogged the director for decades despite no criminal charges. “(I) can relate to all the players in this story,” Posey writes. “I wonder if it will be staged as an opera in fifty years.”

She later defends Allen’s controvers­ial marriage to Soon-Yi Previn, adopted daughter of Mia Farrow, calling the two “a great couple and it’s clear that they’re right for each other.”

 ??  ?? Parker Posey stars as “Jackie-O” Pascal in 1997’s dark and funny “The House of Yes.” It seems much more her style than “Girl, Interrupte­d.”
Parker Posey stars as “Jackie-O” Pascal in 1997’s dark and funny “The House of Yes.” It seems much more her style than “Girl, Interrupte­d.”
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