How to raise boys in era of #MeToo

Bill Cosby began a three- to 10-year prison sentence Tuesday for his sexual assault of Andrea Constand in 2004.

Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh faces multiple allegations of assault and harassment. Christine Blasey Ford, who accused Kavanaugh of a sexual assault while in high school, testified Thursday at a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing. Kavanaugh, who testified as well, denied the accusations.

That’s just this week.

The past year has seen the rise of the #MeToo movement and the downfall of prominent men including Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose and Roy Moore.

Additional social media-based campaigns have gained steam in the past few weeks. #WhyIDidntReport, #BelieveSurvivors and others underscore the issues of entitlement, respect, consent and power. They are complicated and hard for most adults to understand.

Jennifer Fink, a mom of four boys, ages 12 to 20, and founder of buildingboys.net, said it’s a question that comes up a lot lately.

“We want to get this right,” she said. “We don’t want our kids to be the next Bill Cosby or whoever comes out next. At the same time, some of this is a process, and kids are learning and growing.”

Like most parenting issues, there is no hard and fast answer for how to raise a respectful, empathetic son. The key is to bring the conversation into your home, and much of this advice can apply to raising girls as well.

Teach respect at every age

Parents can talk to toddlers and preschoolers about boundaries – how a new friend they met at a playground might not want to be hugged, for example.

In middle school and high school, the conversation can evolve to how to ask whether someone wants to be kissed rather than assuming they do. Parents can explain that the way someone is dressed doesn’t imply a desire for sex. They can assure teens that boys can be sensitive and girls can be assertive.

Allow child to be an individual

Children who don’t feel secure in themselves or valued by their parents will withdraw or seek to dominate, said Darcia Narvaez, professor of psychology at Notre Dame.

That’s when behavioral problems can start.