‘Queer Eye’ star’s shocking memoir
Karamo Brown puts wild life journey out front.
Karamo Brown is the “Queer Eye” culture expert, doling out life advice on the hit Netflix series that would make even the coldest person tear up. And now he has written a whole book on it − with his wild life journey front and center.
In “Karamo: My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing, and Hope” (Gallery Books, out Tuesday), Brown chronicles everything from finding out he was a father 10 years after his son was born to his stint on “The Real World: Philadelphia” to landing “Queer Eye” and a lot more in between.
Brown spoke to USA TODAY about his memoir, the LGBTQ+ community, his love for Ariana Grande, his political ambitions and more.
Question: What are you most excited about with this memoir?
Karamo Brown: I think what I’m most excited about with this memoir is the fact that people are gonna elect to learn more about me and see the struggle that I’ve been through to get to this place: a successful, happy family, amazing career, life being what I’ve always dreamed it to be. But showing them that it wasn’t always pretty or easy. I wanted to make sure this memoir was a takeaway, not just about my life, but also something that people could tangibly say: “Oh, this is the way I could approach the situation.”
Q: You have a route to fatherhood that honestly reads as if it could be the plot of a soap opera − finding out you have a son years after his conception (in 2006), getting sober and then adopting your son’s half-brother as your own. Can you talk to me about how you look back on that time? and what was it like writing through that experience?
Brown: It’s funny, you’re the first person to say that’s a soap opera, and now that you’re saying it, it totally is. Yeah I guess my life has been a soap opera in a sense. When I was a kid I did love “All My Children.” So maybe somehow I kind of like put it out in the universe that my life could be like a Susan Lucci plot line.
But looking back on it, I’m thankful for every moment of it. Not many people have an opportunity to be parents, and not many people have an opportunity to find purpose through parenting. And for me, that was my truth. I was in a very dark place before I became a parent.
Q: There’s a lot of talk about abuse in your book. You wrote about a cycle of abuse going back to your father, who you said used to hit your mother, and was it multiple sisters?
Brown: Just one sister. The other two sisters would not discuss it or confirm or deny it.
Q: I’m curious if you’ve talked to your sons about this before and then explained to them that you yourself were abusive in past relationships?
Brown: Oh, definitely. The history of domestic violence in my family, I knew that the only way that I could stop it from continuing on to another generation is to be open about it, discuss it, so that they could learn the tools on how not to continue that behavior.
And with my sons, I literally talked to them from Day One, in a digestible way, because I think there’s some topics that are too heavy for children . ... One of the ways that I did early on when they were 9, 10, 11 was to describe when you feel anger, what is the physical reaction that you want to do? Do you want to scream? ... Do you want to punch someone? And helping them to identify that when these feelings come – anger sadness, betrayal – that it’s not healthy to want to react physically to them.
Q: You say you never went to rehab for your cocaine addiction. How did you develop coping skills without a rehab program? Have you ever been formally diagnosed as an addict?
Brown: I never went to rehab, though I wanted to. In my family and in my culture, a lot of times rehab is looked at as something for rich people. When I was going through my addiction, rehab wasn’t an option. It was more so about rallying around me, family members, it was about church and prayer.
Q: You talk about your time on “The Real World” and you write: “Truly, I wish everyone in their 20s could see their behavior recorded and played back to them, because I grew so much from that experience.” Do you think people are getting that chance now because of social media?
Brown: I believe that the experience that I had on “The Real World” was completely different than the experience that people get on social media right now. On “The Real World” you’re taken out of your comfort zone for a matter of four to five months at that time. All of our actions were edited . ... I got to see people’s reactions to what I did. And when you get to see how people react to what you do, it causes you to think about the way you approach people and the way you treat people and the way you show empathy and love.
Q: You say your parents interchanged God as both a man and a woman during your childhood. How did you feel when Ariana Grande’s “God is a Woman” came out, and did that resonate with you?
Brown: First of all, I’m in love with Ariana Grande. Like I’m not gonna lie: For about like .1, .2 seconds I tried to hit on her and was like “Who’s this new Mariah Carey,” and all of a sudden I just got like sucked into the Ariana Grande train and I’m riding it, I’m conducting it.
When I heard that song I was screaming “Yes!” just like everyone else, because it’s a great song. And I think there is something amazing about us changing this narrative that spirituality does not have a sex and can be interchanged when we think about our gods or our deities or whoever.”
Q: Political ambition is something that you mention, when you were running for city commissioner of Tallahassee (while in college at Florida A&M University; he withdrew). Would you ever want to run for president?
Brown: I wouldn’t want to run for president . ... I love the state of California. That’s where I’m from, that’s where I live, and if I decide to run for office, it would be in a way to represent this state.