Airline seat fight isn’t about rights
Next time, I hope to be less hostile
Last year I was tucked into my coach seat on an American Eagle flight, plastic wine glass on my tray, when the guy in front of me suddenly jerked his seat into the fully reclined position. As the wine spattered all over the tray table — and me — I gave his seatback a sharp kick and shouted, “Pay attention! You’re not the only one cramped on this flight.”
I was immediately unhappy with my response, even more so when the man stood up, saw the mess he had made and profusely apologized. I accepted his apology. He offered to buy me another glass of wine, but I decided I had had enough. Conflict averted, and for the remainder of the flight we both sat — seatbacks upright — separated by about a foot on a cramped regional jet.
Sure, my fellow traveler goofed, but not on purpose. He turned me into a wet mess, but he apologized and tried to make amends. I reacted angrily, if not defensively, meeting a perceived aggression with hostility. I treated him as “other,” but he responded to me as a true fellow traveler. I took note of that, hoping that might be me the next time.
In recent weeks “recline gate” — whether or not it’s OK to push your airline seat back, and how to respond if someone does — is making headlines across the globe. “To recline or not to recline,” reads one in Shakespearean fashion. “Stop shaming people who recline their airplane seats,” screams another in a huge font. Even the news pages of USA TODAY ask — and answer — the burning question: “Do you have the right to recline your airline airplane seat? No, and here’s why.”
There’s a lot of Sturm und Drang in this story, which is bigger than what it first appears to be.
Video on Twitter
In case you missed it, here’s the view from 30,000 feet: One passenger, Wendi Williams, reclines her seat into the knees of the guy sitting behind her in the last (un-reclinable) row of a cramped plane. He asks her not to — at least until he finishes his meal. Williams waits until she assumes he’s done and pushes her seat back into him, spilling his drink.
Then, she maintains, he starts pounding the back of her seat, hard. She, naturally, pulls out her camera to capture it on video. He stops pounding, but we see him repeatedly rapping the back of her seat. A flight attendant arrives on the scene and tells Williams it’s illegal to record video on a plane. She apparently sides with the spilled-on guy and brings him a free cocktail, angering Williams.
“She rolled her eyes at me and said, ‘What?’ She then told him it was tight back there and gave him rum!” Williams later tweeted.
Infuriated, Williams tweeted her video to Andy Cohen, nominating the spilled-on guy for “Jackhole of the Week” on Cohen’s Bravo show “Watch What Happens Live.”
Yes, “jackhole” is a made-up word. Think, jack--- and ---hole. It’s not a compliment.
Williams’ video went viral and sparked the ugliest debate since Campaign 2020. On one side @Jeff17097807 tweeted: “I am sorry but as a larger man 6’ 2” and 250lbs it is incredibly rude to recline back into someone’s lap. The seats are too damn close to each other to begin with. … As far as I am concerned you got what you deserved.” On the other, a travel writer blogged, “The guy is a complete jerk, plain and simple,” adding that Williams “didn’t cause this at all.”
The blame game
I’m distressed, but hardly surprised, that the focus is on “Who is at fault here?” This is simply how the blame game is played these days, whether in politics (“As many Americans blame the media for the negative tone in politics as blame Trump”), business (“Consumers blame government for dividing the nation but look to brands to fix it”) or in this latest chapter of human “snakes on a plane.” Whose fault is it? Whose rights prevail?
Pundits debate whether reclining is a right or a privilege with the same kind of firepower used to debate the Second Amendment. That’s nuts. The Twitterverse leaps in, which is even more disheartening. Everyone must pick a side, no middle ground allowed.
Since my “wet mess” incident, I’ve had time to think about what I might have done differently given a do-over. For starters, I wouldn’t have kicked his seat. I wouldn’t have shouted at him. I wish to have said something like: “Hey, I’m here, too,” because more than anything I felt invisible. I’ve wondered how we stop thinking about our “rights” and ourselves, and start focusing on those around us. We’re all fellow travelers trying to coexist in our communities — even on those damn small planes.
Oh, and yes, I would have taken up his offer for a free drink.