MLB coach opens up on dark past during playing days
Diamondbacks pitching coach Matt Herges regrets steroids and crossing picket line.
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. – The Major League Baseball Players Association meeting has ended. Players and coaches are signing forms. Licensing checks are handed out.
And Matt Herges is sitting across a picnic table outside the Diamondbacks’ clubhouse, talking in measured tones, carefully choosing his words, a pariah to the union and a stain to those who played the game clean.
Herges spent parts of 11 seasons in the major leagues, playing for eight teams, coaching for three others and now the Diamondbacks’ pitching coach, but he has never been part of the players union.
He never will be.
He crossed the picket line 25 years ago and was a replacement player for the Dodgers.
The union never forgave him, banning him and every other replacement player that year – including the likes of popular personality Kevin Millar and White Sox hitting coach Frank Menechino – for life.
He made the major leagues four years after the replacement camp with the Dodgers, pitched in the World Series for the Rockies and, on Dec. 13, 2007, was shamed in front of the sports world.
He was one of 89 players listed in the Mitchell Report identifying players who used steroids and performanceenhancing drugs.
Now, here he is, coming full circle, with labor strife and a potential work stoppage in 2021, in a game that still can’t rid itself of performance-enhancing drug use.
Herges, who turns 50 this month, says he made terrible decisions in crossing the picket line and using steroids, so he isn’t going to preach ethics to any of his players as the D-backs’ first-year pitching coach.
Yet if anyone wants to talk, he’s an open book.
“I don’t know if I would have made the big leagues without being a replacement player,” Herges tells USA TODAY Sports. “If there’s a regret, it’s that I did nothing to educate myself. I made a decision to do it, and I stand by it, but I should have educated myself and known what happened previously.
“It was so hard. I get a chance to play for Tommy Lasorda. And if I don’t do this, I don’t have a chance to be a Dodger in the future? Why wouldn’t I do this?
“I remember the next spring sitting with (Dodgers teammate) Brett Butler on the bus, and he broke it down for me. He said, ‘Look, this is what Curt Flood did. Here’s the work stoppage history. This is why we struck.’
“At the end of it, I was like, ‘I’m so sorry.’ I’m not going to tell guys what to do or not if that comes up again, but I will tell them to educate themselves and understand the consequences. That is something I did not do. And I regret that.”
Herges, who played in the heart of the steroid era, is aware of the same rumors and speculation now circulating.
“I hear a lot of things too, but I never want to take my mind down that lane,” Herges says. “You hear the stories of guys leaving the ballpark, taking the stuff, and it’s gone the next morning.”
Just last week, Diamondbacks infielder Domingo Leyba was suspended for 80 games for using Boldenone, and Arizona center fielder Starling Marte tested positive three years ago for PED use while with the Pirates.
Herges hates that he fell for the temptation, but the results were impossible to ignore. His fastball suddenly went from 90-91 mph to 94-96 mph. He went from a fringe reliever to a powerful setup man. He pitched a career-high 75 games in his second full year in the big leagues, and never felt the slightest fatigue.
“It made you superman,” Herges said. “It made you an android. It made me so much better. That’s why it’s called performance-enhancing drugs. It works.
“When guys ask about it now, they say, ‘Did it really help?’ I’m like, ‘Absolutely.’
“Sure, the ability to throw 95-96 mph was very helpful, but the confidence, the conviction you had in every pitch you threw, knowing you were going to win each pitch, that was the separator.”
Herges shuts his eyes, winces and recalls the pain his family and friends felt when they found out he had used steroids.
“I hope this doesn’t come across holier-than-thou,” Herges says, “but this was a moral thing. I failed morally. I failed massive. Big time. I claim to be a Christian and trust God, and I completely turned my back on him.”
Herges, married with three children, remembers the fear of the Mitchell Report being released. He had never told a single person. Not his wife, Jane. Not his brother-in-law, 1996 NL Rookie of the Year Todd Hollandsworth. Not his closest friends.
“Leading up to the Mitchell Report coming out,” Herges says, “I got no sleep. It was on my mind 24/7. I had no idea what to do.
“When I saw my name come out, I exhaled. It’s over. I’m exposed. But it’s over. I don’t have this secret anymore. I can breathe.”
Herges talks about those dark days, even now, to the D-backs’ players. He doesn’t necessarily want to know who’s tempted to go to the dark side, but if anyone wants to talk, he’s there.
D-backs closer Archie Bradley, who raves about Herges’ communication skills, says that most of the pitching staff knows Herges is a former major league pitcher but few are aware of his entire background. Now, with a potential strike looming, he hopes the young players reach out to him and seek his counsel.
“Whether you want to agree he made the wrong decision or right decision,” Bradley says, “the biggest thing is he wants guys to be informed. That’s where we’re at with our union now, making sure guys are educated.”
It’s no different with performanceenhancing drugs. Tempted? Talk to Herges.
“My job as a coach is to be a counselor at times. I’m not human resources, but I think it’s an offshoot as a coach. I want to help. That was a dark period in my life. I don’t want anybody else to go through what I did.”
Nearly an hour has passed since Herges sat down, and now it’s time to get back to work. A game is to be played. More decisions need to be made. Player cuts are coming. Opening day is just two weeks away.
“I’m extremely thankful and grateful for this opportunity,” Herges says. “I look around and see (former Astros manager) A.J. Hinch. He’s a great guy, but he can’t coach now. (Former Red Sox manager) Alex Cora is one of my best buddies, and he’s not coaching this year.
“But here I am, after everything I’ve been through, with a dream job.”
Herges points toward the sky, shakes hands and is gone.