Nevada win for ‘none’ is a win for common sense
There’s a new dark-horse candidate in the GOP presidential race following Tuesday night’s shocking primary results in Nevada, and its name is “none of these candidates.”
There was an expectation former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley would win the night, given that she was the only major candidate on the ballot.
But in a twist few saw coming, more than 63% of voters chose “none of these candidates,” the conservative option that, for my money, makes the most sense.
Haley’s defenders pointed out that she hadn’t campaigned in Nevada. But I imagine “none of these candidates” defenders would argue, “Yeah, but you were basically the only name on the ballot and ya still lost to literally nobody.”
Why ‘none of these candidates’ would be a safer choice
Former president and current criminal defendant Donald Trump was not on the ballot but will take part in the state’s Republican-run caucus Thursday.
It will be interesting to see if “none of these candidates” can ride the momentum from its big primary win and make some noise at a caucus Trump is expected to dominate.
I’m a liberal fellow, but I’ve been paying attention to “none of these candidates” throughout the GOP primary race, and I have to say, it’s definitely the smartest and most sensible choice.
From the jump, “none of these candidates” has been more appealing than Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and less confused about slavery than Haley, and its lack of state and federal indictments makes it a safer choice for conservatives pondering another vote for Trump.
It’s also an outside-the-box campaign, taking an innovative absence-of-candidate approach and trying to reach the sane voters who look at the Republican primary field and say, “Yeahhhhh ... not so much with whatever that mess is.”
You can’t impeach ‘none of these candidates’
From a policy standpoint, “none of these candidates” effectively mirrors what remaining competitors Haley and Trump stand for – nothing.
At the same time, “none of these candidates” offers a welcoming void into which Republican voters can deposit their fears, concerns and dreams for the future, all while guaranteeing the party will continue to lead in a rudderless manner, devoid of humanity and wholly resistant to accountability.
You can’t impeach “none of these candidates,” can ya?
Buoyed by its surprise Nevada victory, “none of these candidates” should see a surge in funding that will carry it through to the remaining state primaries. I, for one, would be more than happy to donate to its Not-That-SuperPAC, which I assume is called “None of This Is Going Anywhere.”
A Trump debate against ‘none of these’ would be must-watch TV
In fact, if campaign officials for “none of these candidates” are smart, they’ll challenge Trump to a televised debate. That would give the American people a chance to decide whether they prefer the former president’s loud babbling or the peaceful calm and silence of absolute nothingness.
As someone who believes that it’s good for the country to have two strong, functioning political parties, I hope GOP voters take a long look at “none of these candidates” and imagine the good that might come from having no one run for president.
It honestly couldn’t get any worse for them.