What is your love language?
As Valentine’s Day nears on Wednesday, you may hear someone say they have a “love language.” • Indeed, love is more than just a four-letter word, and when it comes to love, we all communicate the feeling differently. Some people prefer to express their affection through handwritten letters. Others are more appreciative if their significant other cooks dinner for date night. • According to “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, our love languages can teach us a lot about how we approach love and relationships, helping us recognize our preferences in ourselves and in loved ones. • It does not take a love linguist to figure out your love language. Once you do, you may be able to connect more and grow even closer to your loved ones.
What is my love language?
There are a couple ways to determine your own love language.
The first is to take “The Love Language” quiz. This is from the official love languages website, 5lovelanguages.com, and asks a series of this-or-that questions to identify your primary love language. Once you finish the quiz, it gives percentages to compare how much your style of love relates to the five love languages.
If you do not want to take the test, you can take note of what makes you feel most loved. Consider how you prefer to receive affection from others. You may find out you have more than one love language.
All in all, your love language outlines your personal style of love. Although there are five classifications, a person’s love language is unique to them.
Is your love language what you give or receive?
As defined by Chapman, your love language relates to how you receive love. It exemplifies what makes you feel most appreciated and emotionally fulfilled.
However, how you wish to receive love may be different than how you give it to others. While you may prefer receiving gifts, you may not like giving gifts. The same goes for any other love language.
Types of love languages, explained
The term “love language” comes from Chapman’s 1992 book, “The Five Love Languages.” According to Chapman, there are five ways in which people best express and experience romantic love:
Act of service
For this love language, actions speak louder than words. This could mean you prefer when your romantic partner helps you with a project or they do a task for you, such as picking up the weekly groceries or cleaning up the house.
Receiving gifts
Contrary to how it might sound, this language is not about being materialistic. Those with this love language feel most loved when their partner gives them something heartfelt and meaningful, no matter how big or small the gift. Examples include giving flowers on a random occasion or purchasing something your partner said they needed.
Quality time
This is just as how it sounds: spending ample, undivided time with your partner. This could include taking walks, going on a picnic or just hanging out one-on-one and enjoying each other’s company.
Word of affirmation
This lets literal words do the love communicating. For this love language, people feel most affirmed through praise, compliments and overall open, positive communication. Examples include thanking your partner for doing a task, voicing your appreciation for them and, of course, saying, “I love you.”
Physical touch
This love language is rooted in appropriate physical interaction, such as holding hands, hugging, cuddling or kissing.