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What Trump calls ‘unified’ GOP is a tent shy of a circus

- Rex Huppke Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly called Twitter, @RexHuppke and on Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

After winning the Republican primary in South Carolina last weekend, Donald Trump said he has “never seen the Republican Party so unified.”

Trump says a lot of things, few of which are true, but that one’s enough to break the LOL-o-meter.

Allow me to deviate momentaril­y from the steady flow of inane “Should the Democrats replace Joe Biden?” think pieces to say this: The Trump-led Republican Party is in disarray.

It’s one large tent shy of a circus. It’s a black hole into which normalcy disappears.

Trump’s not really dominating, and the GOP has other issues

Here are a few facts – remember those things? – about the GOP as it enters another week of entropy.

Trump did soundly beat Nikki Haley in the South Carolina primary Saturday. But he did not resounding­ly beat her. Haley claimed about 40% of the vote.

When you consider that Trump winning the GOP nomination seems all but inevitable, having 40% of your base not vote for you is – in the parlance of political strategist­s – not good.

As Haley said after the loss: “There are huge numbers of voters in our Republican primaries who are saying they want an alternativ­e.”

That doesn’t sound like unity. Adding to Trump’s electoral trouble, exit polls showed that nearly 60% of the people who voted for Haley would not support Trump in the November election, and 36% of all South Carolina primary voters said that if Trump gets convicted in one of his myriad criminal cases, they’d deem him unfit for office.

And no, Haley’s numbers weren’t inflated by Democrats allowed to vote in the South Carolina GOP primary – only a tiny percentage of them showed up.

But the former South Carolina governor did win big among a swath of voters who will be pivotal in the general election: She took 62% of the votes from people who identify as independen­t.

Republican­s face government shutdown, so that’s fun

Beyond the non-juggernaut­ish Trump, congressio­nal Republican­s march into this week with a government shutdown looming Saturday and a House speaker, Mike Johnson, who seems incapable of herding the cats that make up his caucus.

Having recently rejected a bipartisan border deal hashed out in the Senate, the House may well get hung up on government funding because of GOP lawmaker demands for ... wait for it ... a border deal.

Rep. Byron Donalds, R-Fla., told NBC News on Sunday: “I will not be voting for any funding if the border is not secured.”

House Speaker Johnson will be lucky to survive shutdown fight

And there’s the general chaos-monsters, like Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Ewwwww, who bragged to a crowd of conservati­ves Friday that he has made Congress “a living hell” for many of his fellow Republican­s, whom he kindly labeled “swamp rats.”

The most likely path forward is for Johnson to push through another continuing resolution to keep the government open and stall for time, but that’s what drove the MAGA elements of the House GOP caucus to boot Kevin McCarthy from the speakershi­p.

Or as Trump might call it, “An act of great GOP unity.”

GOP Biden impeachmen­t is in tatters. And there’s the IVF thing.

While struggling to accomplish the absolute basics – like keeping the government running – Republican­s have recently seen their unmoored-from-reality Biden impeachmen­t inquiry crumble into dust.

They had to reckon with an Alabama Supreme Court ruling that declared frozen embryos – the kind used in in vitro fertilizat­ion – are people, causing major hospitals and clinics in the state to temporaril­y halt IVF services.

Republican lawmakers have rushed to defend IVF – which is exceedingl­y popular across party lines – but they’re struggling with this incongruit­y: 125 House Republican­s are co-sponsors of something called the Life at Conception Act, which has no exceptions for IVF and mirrors the language used by the Alabama high court in its ruling.

It’s tricky to say: “We in no way support this thing we all signed on to and are trying to get passed into law!”

Republican­s are doing nothing to help make people like them

Republican Sen. Tommy Tuberville of Alabama, when first asked about his state’s Supreme Court ruling, made clear that he doesn’t understand how much of anything works.

He first said that he was “for it” because “we need more kids” then, upon learning that the ruling might suspend IVF services in his state, saying, “That’s a hard one.”

It also doesn’t help dispel the “we’re turning America into ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ ” vibe when Republican­s like Rep. Donalds go on television and praise IVF by saying:

“It helps them breed great families. Our country needs that.”

As GOP reels, Trump prepares to drain the RNC to pay his legal bills

And of course, back to Trump, the party’s likely presidenti­al nominee has pushed for his own daughter-in-law, Lara Trump, to co-chair the Republican National Committee, and she has said that the party should help pay Trump’s legal fees.

Among other legal fees, the former president now owes New York at least $454 million for committing fraud – with $112,000 in interest piling up each day – and $83.3 million for defaming writer E. Jean Carroll.

In total, that’s about $537 million, which is about $537 million more than what Biden owes in civil penalties, because Biden has never been found liable for fraud and defamation.

If this is GOP unity, I’d hate to see GOP division

All of these inconvenie­nt facts lead Trump to one conclusion: “I have never seen the Republican Party so unified as it is right now.”

Indeed. Everything’s running like a well-oiled engine.

One that’s powering a train running right off the tracks.

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