Your Health: Managing Holidays During Uncertainty
The holidays are coming or are already here. I am not sure I am ready. While the dates are ticking off the calendar, it is time to prepare ourselves and our families for a healthy celebration.
During typical holiday seasons, the last few weeks of December are filled with school programs, card preparation, office parties, visiting families, and hosting friend groups. But this is not a typical holiday season. Many of our traditions are not possible or are not the best choices currently. These situations may affect how we are feeling, and how we are thinking causing change in our behavior. However, there are healthy ways to respond to these changes.
We may be dealing with loss of a loved one, job loss, financial stress, or anticipating the absence of family members at celebrations. First, identify what you are feeling. Name the emotion- it is okay to be sad, mad, lonely, confused, angry, disappointed, scared, etc. These emotions are not right or wrong; it is how we respond to these emotions that are healthy or unhealthy. Once you have identified the emotion, act. Visit with a friend, journal your emotions and thoughts, or spend time alone.
Once the loss has been acknowledged we can act. Perhaps you have lost time with family, or traditions during holiday season. Practicing gratitude is one of the most effective ways to handle loss and grief in a healthy manner. Even though it may seem impossible to identify the gratitude during the sad times, doing so will help us feel the positives. Each evening, prior to bed, write down 3 things that are causing grief, concern, or sadness. Put that notepad by your bedside. This will allow your brain rest and will enable more restful sleep. Every morning, as you wake, write down 3 things for which you are grateful. Doing this for consecutive days will begin a change in your thinking pattern. You will naturally begin to focus on the positive things in your life.
As you experiment with alternate ways to celebrate, keep at least one tradition alive for your family members that can gather this year. Still light the menorah, decorate the Christmas tree, decorate the Christmas cookies, break out champagne for New Year’s Eve, host zoom parties for family and friends. At the dinner table, place a picture of the family members that will not be able to join you physically this year, light a candle, establish an outdoor neighborhood remembrance tree that all can decorate. Most of all, find something that comforts you and do it again and again. Blend some of the old traditions with the new activities that may become part of your future traditions. You may want to table some traditions until everyone can be together in the future.
Do not romanticize your typical holiday activities. Be patient and realistic. We often have a mental picture of how things ought to be. Now is the time to be kind to yourself and realize if some of those expectations are based more on fantasy than reality. Even though you may not be able to see your family members, perhaps you also will not have to spend time with that one family member that causes stress.
If you continue to struggle you may want to take an online screening www.mhascreening.com to determine if you are experiencing more than holiday stress. Help is also available at 1-800-273-8255 or 211 or text Hello to 741741. Resources are also available at www.mhand. org Erin Klingenberg, Ph.D. is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor- Board Certified and Director of Counseling Services at Valley City State University.
YOUR HEALTH is coordinated by the City County Health District.