SENSE & SENSITIVITY
Midwife’s schedule can’t wait for holidays
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a midwife who is frequently on call. Just this Thanksgiving, I could be only 20 minutes away from my client. I know this comes with the territory, so I went to my neighbor’s house to celebrate the holiday.
My boyfriend, who lives a state over, was not as understanding. He told me that everyone else has a day off, while I retorted that life doesn’t wait around for the holidays. How can I get him to understand the unique stresses of my job? He’s upset we didn’t celebrate our first holiday together. -- Delivering Babies and Bad News, Denver
DEAR DELIVERING BABIES AND BAD NEWS: Plenty of people have nontraditional jobs that require unusual hours. Because you have that type of schedule, it is incumbent on you to align your family and friends with your reality. Your new boyfriend wanted to see you and was frustrated that it couldn’t happen. This is natural. What you needed to do was to explain -- calmly -- what the terms of your employment are. It is important for you to resist the temptation to get defensive or holier-than-thou about your work.
Do your best to remember that your loved ones, especially your beau, simply want to spend quality time with you. Do not get upset. Instead, create opportunities for meaningful encounters. Next time, invite your beau to a quiet dinner or lunch for two near your worksite. Vow to come visit as soon as the baby is born. Figure out creative solutions that bring you two close together without compromising your job.