SENSE & SENSITIVITY
Reader doesn’t know what to do with ex’s present
DEAR HARRIETTE: As an early Valentine’s Day present, my ex-boyfriend left a 6-foot-tall teddy bear at my front door. An oversized card was attached along with the bear. There is no possibility of a reunion between us, and I am stuck with this gigantic stuffed animal. Should I offer it back to him? I was thinking about donating it to a children’s hospital, but this bear must have cost hundreds of dollars. -- Can’t Bear It, Milwaukee
DEAR CAN’T BEAR IT: If you feel like having a conversation with your ex, you can offer him back the bear. Thank him for it, but say that you cannot keep it. Know that you will be putting yourself in a situation where you will have to talk and likely explain your reason for not wanting to be together all over again. It could be kind for you to talk to him if you believe that you will be able to talk straight and be heard without having any old wounds open up as a result.
If you are not up for or interested in having that chat, donate it. Your idea of giving it to a children’s hospital is perfect. The bear was offered to you with love, and those children need every ounce of love they can get. You will be honoring his gift even though you will not be keeping it.
FYI: My husband bought a giant bear for my daughter a few years ago, and it wasn’t that expensive. Even the big ones come in different prices. Don’t let your guilty feelings about your ex spending money on you keep you from taking care of yourself.