New client disparages hairdresser’s prices
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a self-employed hairdresser. A little while ago, I gave an acquaintance a new-client discount because I am good friends with the girl who referred me to her. Not long after, she complained to our mutual friend that I overcharged her for my services. What I charge is very reasonable considering what other hairdressers in the area charge, plus I gave her a 25% discount even though I hardly know her. She tried to book with me again recently, and I declined because she slandered my business. Was it unprofessional of me to turn her away? — Entitled Client
DEAR ENTITLED CLIENT: It was not wrong of you to turn away this client, but what might have been better would be to talk to her. It’s not too late for that even now. You should call her. Apologize for not being able to give her the recent appointment she asked for. Before getting off the phone, ask if she can take a few minutes to talk to you. If so, ask her how she liked your services the last time she came to you. If your mutual friend gave you permission to mention this woman’s complaint, tell her that you heard that she was unhappy with the cost of services. Point out that you gave her a 25% discount.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son’s health issues make me very nervous about him potentially moving out. He is 25 now, and he has been talking about getting his own place for quite some time. He doesn’t need my permission to move out, but I’ve practically begged him not to go because his health issues are so unpredictable. I feel better that I’m able to keep a watchful eye on him and be there if he needs me. I know that I cannot make him stay forever, but I have no idea how to let him go. I fear for the worst if he leaves. How can I get over this fear? — Nervous Mom
DEAR NERVOUS MOM: Your job as a parent is to prepare your child to be independent. That is true even when your child has challenges, such as health issues. You may think you are doing the right thing by keeping him with you, but that is not necessarily true. Since your son is pressuring you to allow him to move out on his own, you need to let him. Suggest that he talk to his doctor about how he can live independently and what precautions he should put in place to protect himself. Let him go on that appointment without you. He needs to exercise his own agency as he figures out next steps. You can help him to set himself up in an independent space, but do not hover. He should have all medical emergency information handy, including where the local hospital is. And then let him be.
I have witnessed parents who have coddled their adult children who have disabilities, illnesses and other challenges. Rarely does this work out best for the adult child. Stop doing it. Let your son live his life.