Night owl desperately needs to get more sleep

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a serious night owl. I work long hours and need time to unwind. I don’t do all that much at night, but I don’t go to sleep. I watch movies sometimes, or binge watch stupid TV shows. I read sometimes. I don’t really know how the time passes. All I know is that I rarely get to bed before 1 a.m., and I have to get up by 7:30 no matter what. Usually, I don’t feel tired, but my mom keeps reminding me that I am supposed to get at least eight hours of sleep. How can I change my ways? — Go to Sleep

DEAR GO TO SLEEP: While you are up one night, do some research on the benefits of sleep and the harm you do to your body by not getting a good eight hours each night. Wake yourself to the damage you are doing to yourself, and that may be the very medicine you need to reconsider how you spend your evenings.

There’s an insightful doctor who speaks candidly about this. Dr. Daniel Amen explains that the brain needs at least seven hours of sleep in order to regenerate each day. He further explains that you can actually heal your brain by feeding it well and giving it the rest it needs. Here is a TED Talk he did that elaborates on the brain, including the absolute need for sleep: youtu.be/ML j1puoWCg.

So how do you get to more sleep? Turn off the TV. Stop eating several hours before you plan to go to bed. Don’t drink alcohol. Drink a little water. Get in the bed with the intention of getting rest. Train yourself to do it. You can.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wealthiest friend is the least generous friend I have. She makes twice my salary and is married to an incredibly wealthy man, so she doesn’t even really have to work. She is constantly suggesting that we do things such as go on trips, dine at expensive restaurants, buy front-row tickets to concerts, etc., but she never offers to treat me to a thing. This has caused a rift, as I can’t afford to do a lot of the things she prefers to do. I’m not that type of friend at all. Even though I have less, I will treat my friends and not ask for a dime in return. Am I wrong for thinking she could be more generous? — Stingy Friend

DEAR STINGY FRIEND: As you continue your friend evaluation, step back and ask yourself if this person is actually your friend. Her behavior is saying something very different. Perhaps she is not conscious of how she is behaving or of your circumstances or those of her other friends.

You do not have to put yourself in the situation of feeling less-than because she is oblivious to your reality. Stop going out with her. Or tell her directly that you cannot hang with her the way she likes to because you can’t afford it. If she wants you to do expensive things, she is going to have to pay your way. Otherwise, you will be unable to accompany her.