Church And Old-Fashioned System Of Two Parents Work Best

I was explaining to some sixth-graders how a 20-yearold man could drive his pickup truck for 11 miles while weaving across the road. Another driver took a video of his erratic driving and called 911. The truck crashed head-on into a van filled with senior citizens, killing 12 people. The driver was texting while driving. He said, “I’m sorry!” Does that apology make it right?

Science says the frontal area in male brains matures more slowly than for females. That’s the brain part that sees long- term consequences and makes judgment calls. Because most young men don’t have good judgment ( lack of experience and brain immaturity), their car insurance costs more since they cause more accidents. I told the girls that if you’re riding in a vehicle and the driver is texting, stop the car and get out. Call home. Dial 911. Drivers, put your cell phone in the glove compartment until you arrive safely.

Technology has transformed our culture. I remember seeing my first color TV. It was a Zenith; large, with real tubes, not transistors. You had to walk up to it to turn the channel. Dad was the first person in our neighborhood to own one. In those days, a TV repairman made house calls. I heard the repairman say, “Don’t reach inside the cabinet. It has an electrical charge even when it’s off.” I heard him discuss his odd work hours. “My wife told me I had to choose between my work or her. I chose work.” That struck me as wrong. My dad worked long hours but he came home every night. He had flaws but he took care of his family.

Nothing puts integrity to the test quite like marriage or having a family. In Amer- ican society, if you believe the TV, the two- parent family with its traditional male-female covenant-couple at its core, is disappearing. Are we better off for it? What other institution is taking the family’s place? There is none. Besides, the two-parent family is alive and well.

In any home where children are never told “No!” anything goes. Rebellion displaces respect, self- restraint, and personal responsibility. Popularity replaces productivity. Emotionalism replaces clear thinking. Indulgent parents produce self- willed children who never grow up.

For perpetually immature adults raised by delinquent parents, the moral default is narcissism. “Cast off all restraint. Indulge your appetites. Eat, drink, and be merry. There are no rules. I’m the judge of what’s right or wrong. I’ll do it my way. You can’t tell me what to do. There are no standards. Vulgarity is permissible. Violence is okay. Lying and cheating are fine. I’ll throw things and scream and riot if you stand in my way. I answer to nobody. I’m being authentic to who I am. I won’t deny myself. It isn’t wrong unless I get caught.”

Does that lifestyle work? No. It’s a failed experiment. We know that children can’t raise themselves. For all parents, I suggest an old-fashioned system that worked very well for many generations. It’s this—raise your kids among Christ’s followers in a church. There you can learn what the Bible says about parenting, about honoring God, and all the resulting blessings. It is easier to enjoy the journey when you have a support community surrounding you (a family of families) to help you honor God, keep the covenant, and raise the kids.